At least, Britney didn't show.

The results of Sunday's Emmy telecast were so bizarre, that this exclamation -- remember, Spears was offered the chance to show up and apologize for her career-killing performance at the MTV awards a week ago -- was the last refuge for us critics, tearing our hair out on deadline trying to make sense of it all.

Extras' Ricky Gervais instead of Alec Baldwin, Steve Carell or even (shudder) Tony Shalhoub? 30 Rock as best comedy instead of The Office? Sally Field as best dramatic actress instead of Kyra Sedgwick or Edie Falco? James f-ing Spader as best dramatic actor instead of the magnificent James Gandolfini?

Looks like Emmy voters were spending way too much time on the set of Showtime's ganja-focused comedy Weeds.

Making matters worse, this was probably the most entertaining Emmycast in years. Host Ryan Seacrest was smart enough to do what he does best; crack a few jokes and step aside to let more talented folks take the wheel. So Steve Carell, Lewis Black, Ellen DeGeneres, Rainn Wilson, Wayne Brady and yes, Kanye West stepped up with skits and presentations that brought more than a few laugh out loud moments.

Still, the odd moments piled up. Here's a few:

82-year-old Emmy winner Elaine Stritch getting confused while presenting an award, then confessing to the crowd "I'm not faking this -- I really don't know what the hell I'm doing."

Often-discombobulated American Idol judge Paula Abdul's clueless look when the spotlight fell on her after Seacrest suggested SHE spent too much time at the Weeds cast party.

The last line of Sally Field's acceptance speech getting totally cut from the broadcast -- the screen went to a wide shot of the the auditorium with no audio (for the record, she said ""And, let's face it, if the mothers ruled the world, there would be no g-d--- wars in the first place.") Contrary to what MoveOn.org or the Huffington Post may say tomorrow, I think the blip was all about profanity and not about the antiwar thing.

80-year-old Tony Bennett sweeping the variety, music awards, singing a duet with a very pregnant Christina Aguilera and smiling at his 47-year-old, blondiful wife. Does life just keep getting better for this guy, or what? At this point, going to heaven in the afterlife would be a step DOWN.

Katherine Heigl getting pissed that announcers mispronounced her name, then confessing while accepting her supporting actress honor that “My own mother told me I didn’t have a shot in hell of winning tonight, so I didn’t have anything prepared. But she’s a big supporter.” That tough dame image is starting to wear a bit, my dear.

Skeevy points to Seacrest, both for a joke about a blogger looking at nude pics of High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens and for cracking the first of TWO jokes about Heroes star Hayden Panettiere recently turning 18. At some point, it just looks creepy, dude.

Broken Trail star Thomas Haden Church noting he jumped out of his limousine to pee and that's why his pants don't fit. TMI, dude. And what the hell does that mean, anyway?

Cool points to a writer for Conan O'Brien who noted he prepared an acceptance speech "because Katherine Heigl's mom told me we were gonna win" and to Daily Show host Jon Stewart, who congratulated correspondent Rob Riggle for traveling to Iraq where he "found laughs in Hell."