'American Horror Story: Hotel,' episode 10: Hotline Bling
What just happened?
Liz Taylor and Iris just went from being the lowliest residents of the Hotel Cortez, with literally no one caring about their fates, to taking charge and slinging guns with Drake's "Hotline Bling" as background music in last night's episode, "She gets revenge."
They've both been mourning the loss of their true loves. Donovan may still be alive, but he could care less about his mother, Iris. Liz is still reeling from the Countess's betrayal and living in a world without his beloved Tristan.
She and Iris make plans to leave the hotel for good. They're both tired of unhappy, unfulfilling lives. But before they off themselves, Liz sets up a reunion with his long lost son of 31 years, Douglas.
The best is yet to come
Liz and Iris seek the help of Miss Evers to go through with their plan, and to get Douglas to the Cortez. She offers him a week stay with free drink tickets, Liz and Iris thank Miss Evers by gifting her modern laundry detergent.
Liz and Douglas are reunited at hotel bar with Liz bedecked in shimmery sequins. They chat about life and Douglas's wife, but don't admit to each other they're related.
Douglas talks about his father who left him when he was young. His father missed his best season of little league baseball, but Douglas is happy they are finally going to reconnect.
Cheers to that.
Later, Liz and Iris thank Miss Evers more with a gift of a brand new washing machine and dryer. Miss Evers is almost in tears with happiness, though she has no idea how to use the thing.
Liz and his son meet at the bar again, and Douglas tells of his and his wife's plan to finally move away for a new job.
Liz attempts to admit she's really Douglas's father, but he stops her. He knew all along. His mother warned him he wouldn't recognize his father after all this time, and dropped clues about his new lifestyle.
"You have no problem that your father is a woman?" Liz asks almost in tears.
"There's plenty of room for another woman in my life," Douglas says with a smile.
Their reunion was one of the more heartwarming scenes you'll see on American Horror Story.
When Liz and Iris meet up later to enact their suicide pact, Liz backs out, claiming Douglas wants her in his life now.
Iris is first extremely upset about her decision. She's been trapped and lonely in this hotel for far too long, and she just wants to feel peace and freedom. And to share her tribute video with her three Instagram followers.
High on her own happiness, Liz exclaims they should take over the hotel together. Both woman of a certain again and been through too much pain and suffering, they deserve to regain power and happiness.
"We are the ones who should inherit the earth," Liz says.
The world's worst parents
Mom's a vampire, dad's a serial killer, son's also a vampire and daughter is, well, apparently not important.
John just has more more murder to commit to complete the 10 commandments. Then he's free. Or so Sally says.
His recent murder was of some people worshipping false gods, so he took their ears. Makes sense.
He and Alex are reunited, they hash out their anger, then John agrees to help Alex lasso up the crazy vampire children on the loose in L.A.
They return to vampire child Max's house and find a very sick young girl, Kimmy, shivering on the floor. The police have condemned the home as a crime scene and blood still smears the floors, but the children came back because they have nowhere else to go.
Alex tries in vain to save Kimmy, but she's too late. The rest of the children are devastated, but still don't want to trust Alex. They reluctantly agree to accompany her and John back to the Cortez.
But instead of helping them, Alex and John lock them inside the renovated steel chamber. Basically just sweeping the problem under the rug. Ramona Royale is still trapped inside the chamber, and sees the new arrivals as appetizers.
In some way, Alex and John have rekindled their lost flame. Alex likes the new John Lowe she sees, but she doesn't know the truth about his murderous hobby.
They calmly discuss their actions. Alex made her choice to be with Holden, her true love. John reminds her they have another child.
"I haven't forgotten about Scarlett," Alex says. I BEG TO DIFFER.
"We are the world's worst parents," John says. TRUTH.
Sally catches them in their affair (is sleeping with your soon to be ex-wife wrong?) and she's furious. She tries to reason with John by reminding him she's the one who's been there for the past five years. She's the one who really understands him and accepts him for who he is.
Back and forth they fight and makeout. Sally is John's deadly addiction. She and killing give him a high like none other. But what he really wants is his family back together.
Shunned by John, Sally vows to kill him and Alex.
"I will kill you, I swear on my soul," Sally yells at John and Alex as they take Holden home with them.
You're not so pretty now
Countess and Donovan both have obstacles in their way.
They're both fighting to remain with their true loves. Countess with Valentino, and Donovan with Countess.
Donovan confronts Valentino at the motel close by. He's jealous of Valentino, Countess would never love him like she loves Valentino. Valentino calls him a "pretty boy who's past his prime," and tries to defend himself with a "freaking sword." Donovan responds by shooting him in the face. Multiple times. So much for that pretty face.
"I have better cheekbones anyway," Donovan says. "Cheekbones for days."
Back at the Cortez, Countess is working on getting rid of her competition, Natasha. She tells Natasha she's cheap, and she's always been cheap, before shooting her. "Who's the little mouse now?" she says.
Later, Countess reports Will Drake's disappearance to police while wearing a muted brown pantsuit and mild makeup. She plays the part of distraught wife beautifully, until her missing husband bursts through the doors.
Will Drake claims he was just exploring the renovations and got lost for a few days. Not a big deal, officers, but thanks for your concern.
When the officers leave, Will Drake is furious that she murdered him. Now his soul is trapped in the hotel forever. "Get over it," Countess says. "You p***** me off."
He toys with her by reminding her she's not in the will. Ah, but Countess is the legal guardian Will Drake's heir, Lachlan. He will be lucky if he reaches the age to claim his inheritance.
What a beautiful thing I made
Donovan chooses to admit to Valentino's murder during a nice dinner with Countess. "Maybe you can clean up my mistake," Donovan says. "Text your boyfriend and ask him. Wait, he doesn't know how to text."
After finding Valentino's marred body in his hotel room, Countess comes back to the hotel with mascara streaks down her cheeks. She walks in on Donovan dancing to "Hotline Bling" and that's not the weirdest thing that happens.
Donovan didn't run, and he isn't avoiding death by Countess. He knows the only way Countess will let him love her is by dying.
She softens a little, wooed by his willingness to sacrifice anything for her love.
The moment is ruined by Liz and Iris bursting into the room guns blazing.
Are Countess and Donovan dead? Were they even wounded?
We don't know because that's where the episode ends.
The next episode of American Horror Story: Hotel premieres January 6 on FX.
Contact Chelsea Tatham at email@example.com. Follow @chelseatatham.