Belinda Carlisle first celeb ejected from Dancing With the Stars
Judged solely on dance ability, Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak should have been the big name who hit the bricks on tonight's results episode of Dancing With the Stars.
But former Go-Gos singer Belinda Carlisle committed three unforgivable Dancing sins: a) She was boring (at least cry for the camera like Denise Richards, girlfriend!); b) She was a hopelessly mediocre dancer, with the added appeal of drowning in buckets of self-loathing once her dance was over; and c) She looked like she'd rather be listening to a 10-CD Bangles box set than dragging her clunky behind around the dance floor.
All those demerits led to Carlisle getting the hook, after an hourlong results show packed with numbers featuring the pro dancers and a still-inexplicable dance-off, in which the bottom two dancers must perform their mediocre routines again, in hopes of convincing the judges to give an extra point or two.
Tonight, Wozniak and Carlisle faced off, and even though I feel my retinas burning every time the overweight computer geek ambles onstage, his relentless optimism was much easier to take than Carlisle thinly disguised disappointment and stage fright.
No wonder the singer looked the tiniest bit relieved when the hosts informed her that -- despite the fact that Wozniak got the lowest judges scores among all dancers for both his competitive dances -- she was the one heading home in the first elimination of the current cycle.
Early episodes of Dancing are always the toughest, as the comic relief and hopelessly overmatched contestants are slowly whittled away.
And optimistic as Wozniak is -- with ex-girlfriend Kathy Griffin in the audience Monday, even though he's married to someone else! -- I expect he's gone next, followed shortly by Holly Madison, David Alan Grier and Steve-O, barring any miracles of dance.