Best jokes from Joel McHale's appearance today at the TV Critics Press Tour
LOS ANGELES -- When Community star Joel McHale kicked off NBC's portion of the TV Critics Association's press tour this morning, he unleashed a string of jokes tougher on his employer than any critic could manage.
Here are my favorites:
Just get you as excited as you are right now. This is awesome. Wow, how about that video? Yeah. Paint coming together. You heard the “Seinfeld” theme, you heard the “Friends” theme, the “Star Trek.” Where was the theme for “Outsourced”? I didn’t hear that.
Here we are at the TCAs. It’s just like Comic Con, but with more nerds. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s like summer camp for shut ins.
My favorite part of TCA is gambling in the “which network is going to try to do something with Christian Slater pool.” I’m going to go with CW this year, I think.
Now NBC knows how to capitalize on the young demo and get to be #1 again. We’re going to wait for all the old people watching CBS and ABC to die. That’s right.
NBC’s new slogan is changing from “More Colorful” to “Just one more step and you’ll be at the bottom of the stairs, grandma.”
So believe me, it will work.
And now, let’s take a look at some of NBC’s Fall 2011 lineup, or as we refer to it around here: All the shows that don’t involve Guy Fieri cheering while some asshole bounces ping pong balls into a bucket.
Speaking of television gold, have you seen a show “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant”? It’s something to think about to put on the schedule. It’s people that didn’t know they were pregnant. They made an entire series out of it. It’s going to go on for years. That’s how many people didn’t know that they were actually pregnant. It’s insane.
Of course, my show “Community” is back. The Chevy Chase babysitting service premieres its third season September 22nd. And good news, once again “Community” tied the “The Jersey Shore” in Emmy nominations (It got none). Yeah. Eat that “Ghost Hunters.”
We’ve got “The Playboy Club” which takes us into the freewheeling ’60s for a look at the dawn of the sexual revolution. Basically, it’s “Mad Men” with boobs. You also get to see a young Hugh Hefner when he only had 13 different strains of herpes. Those were the days.
Oh, yeah, I know. Making fun of Hef, that was low.
His skin now is made of beef jerky. I don’t know if you knew that.
There was also the triumphant return of summer television’s most grammatically incorrect show, “America’s Got Talent.” Seriously, would it have been so hard to call it “America Has Talent”? Why don’t just go all the way and call it “America’s Done Got Talent.” On the bright side, there was zero misspellings. Oh, and by the way, David Hasselhoff still thinks he’s judging that show. Ask him. Seriously, he still thinks he’s on it.
There’s also the return of one of the most celebrated, most revered, most critically respected shows in the history of the medium, “Fear Factor.” Yes. After a few years’ break, NBC has decided primetime needed just a few more girls in jog bras, eating live cave spiders. Welcome back, “Fear Factor.” Thanks to you, the demand for raw edible elk dicks has one again skyrocketed.
The competition is fierce for NBC. Of course, there’s “American Idol,” hosted by the most powerful hobbit in all of Middle Earth, Ryan Seacrest. Procedural crime dramas continue to let lazy viewers know that, yes, this crime will be solved in 60 minutes with fake science and clever sunglasses removal.