Tom DeLay on Dancing with the Stars: "That was surreal."
Washington D.C. is often described as Hollywood for geeks.
So it was no surprise when former U.S. House leader Tom DeLay popped up on Dancing with the Stars Monday as one of the least co-ordinated, dare I say it -- geekiest -- contestants in the game.
"That was surreal," laughed judge Carrie Ann Inaba, struggling to find nice words for a cha-cha that consisted mostly of DeLay strummnig a non-existent guitar and shaking his hips off time to the music. When you can't play air guitar in time to Wild Thing, you got a serious problem.
The early performances in Dancing are just scene-setters, anyway -- mostly a way to figure out who's so bad they're going home early, who's the comic relief that may stick around a while and who has a real shot.
Featuring just the guys, Monday's show revealed that former NFL star Michael Irvin needs to chill with the competitive intensity. A few cycles ago, Warren Sapp survived a few lackluster performances by surprising the crowd and having as much fun as possible; how you come across to the audience at home, voting to keep the dancers they like, is almost as important as how you perform on the floor.
So far, former pop star Aaron Carter is the best natural dancer, followed by Iron Chef "chairman" Mark Dascacos, thanks to his fluidity and martial arts training. Donny Osmond is always going to be dangerous, because he's popular and a hard worker used to pushing himself as a performer.
But DeLay gets the Jerry Springer award for schlubbiest competitor; he won't be gone first, but he will be gone soon.
Check out the train wreck below: