Which celebrities should join Dancing With the Stars?
Expect the same lineup of has-beens and wanna-bes; rumored names include celebrity train wreck Denise Richards (left) and singer Jewel. Celebrities have to be in a funny place to make this a good career move -- traditional names needing a boost and peripheral personalities looking for a ticket to Entertainment Tonight thrive here.
But readers on TV.com already have chosen the bold-faced name they most wanted to see twirling beneath the mirror ball: ex-con ex-heavyweight champ Mike Tyson.
After visions of Tyson taking an ear off crotchety judge Len Goodman faded, I got to thinking: Who else would make for an exciting season on TV’s hokiest dance contest? My choices, with explanations:
Christian Bale — Imagine the quotes Bergeron will get when Bruno hands the volcanic Batman star his first 6 score.
Mr. T -- I pity the fool who don't . . . oh well, you get the joke.
Tom Daschle — Now that his tax problems have forced him out of Obama cabinet, he’s got time on his hands. And we know he’s got a few IRS bills to pay.
Steve-O — Actually, rumor has it the Jackass star, who spent time in a mental institution last year, is actually in the new cast. Sometimes, TV just writes the jokes for you.
Lindsay Lohan — Just don’t dare put her in coach for the flight to Los Angeles!