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Sean Daly, Michelle Stark and Sharon Kennedy Wynne

Could Bill Engvall win 'Dancing with the Stars'?

Bill Engvall and his partner Emma.

ABC

Bill Engvall and his partner Emma.

23

November

We knew something was off during this season of Dancing With the Stars when cancer patient Valerie Harper, a contestant right in this show’s emotional wheelhouse, was voted off way back in October during week four.
But we didn’t know that this would go on to be one of the weakest, most boring seasons this show has had.

So what’s the problem?

The biggest issue this season doesn’t seem to fall with the show, but with the voting audience. Lots of people who were actual good dancers left far too early. Major contenders Brant Daugherty and Elizabeth Berkley (who easily could have won the whole thing) were inexplicably voted off in recent eliminations. And you might not like Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, but she did not deserve to leave the competition weeks before so-so dancer Leah Remini.

Sure, this show has never been a straight-up talent competition. A contestant needs a certain emotional connection with the show’s voters or tabloid fodder to advance. But the only reason we still watch DWTS is to see good dancers become great, and great dancers shimmy their way into the finale.

So it’s a shame that as the finale airs Monday and Tuesday, the show’s talent pool has been narrowed down to what may be the overall weakest final four we’ve ever seen. Strong competitors Corbin Bleu (of High School Musical fame) and Amber Riley are good and worthy of the title, but the other two finalists, Jack Osbourne and Bill Engvall, likely would have been voted off a lot earlier in years past.

(Compare this year to last season’s finals, a really tight race between four talented dancers: football player Jacoby Jones, gymnast Aly Raisman, singer Kellie Pickler and Disney channel star Zendaya. It was anyone’s game to win up until the very end.)

Bleu gets our vote to take home the trophy. Sure, with his Disney background he might have an unfair advantage, but he seems excited to get better each week — and he knocked out one of the best jazz routines we’ve ever seen a few weeks back. Riley is good too, though she’s seemed a bit absent dealing with a knee injury, and we could live without last year’s champ Derek Hough winning again. And though Osbourne is a total charmer, his moves are just okay.

That brings us to Engvall. Look, nothing against Bill, who seems like a real sweetheart, but the guy can’t dance. We get that he has a large fanbase, but has someone so bad at dancing ever made it this far before? Kirstie Alley placed second (!) in season 12, and while there were far better dancers who should have taken that place, she at least seemed to get better throughout the competition and had unforgettable chemistry with partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy. 

And yet, week after week, Engvall doesn’t get eliminated. So, could he win? Probably not. And for the sake of the DWTS franchise, fans better hope not.

[Last modified: Friday, November 22, 2013 3:11pm]

    

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