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Debunking 'The Bachelor': Juan Pablo is a creep...but he's right about love

Juan Pablo and Nikki, the not-so-happy (but realistic!) couple

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Juan Pablo and Nikki, the not-so-happy (but realistic!) couple

11

March

I won't pretend to be the world's biggest Bachelor fan, but I do know something about love. (Haha! I couldn't even keep a straight face writing that!)

I tuned into Monday's Final Quest for the Rose, or whatever it's called, and found it to be totally compelling television. In a live postgame wrapup, show host Chris Harrison — whom I happen to respect, even though he needs to push an otherwise ridiculous brand — was forcing this year's stud-for-sale Juan Pablo Galavis to say "I love you" to winner (or something) Nikki Ferrell.

Juan Pabz — who had the brutal task of making out with scads of really attractive people for months until he ran out of time — refused to say the magic words. People were horrified! But you know what? J-Pabz was ABSOLUTELY RIGHT and TOTALLY REALISTIC.

He didn't love Nikki, not even close, thus debunking the fantasy element of a franchise selling the notion that fairytales can happen on reality TV. JP is a jerk; he's also right.

"People don't understand that this is real life," Juan Pablo told Harrison. "When you're with somebody, you don't say you love her or not if you're there or not. … Whenever you feel you love someone, you [say it]. … We are done with the show. We are so done and very happy that we had the opportunity to be part of it and that we met each other through it. I appreciate the opportunity. … It's been tough. You guys have been boxing with me. … It hasn't been easy."

Now listen: Juan Pablo appears to be a vacuous human, with Cro-Magnon views of the world and women. I won't get into that idiocy here. And I don't really care about runnerup Clare Crawley, who knocked boots with Juan Pablo then acted horrified when he busted out the dirty talk. Whatever. No, what's fascinating to me is that this year's hunkosaurus was a stone-cold realist, which is decidedly NOT how the game is played. Romantics only please! Maybe this was a clever gambit by producers; chaos makes for great ratings after all. Juan Pablo supposedly told someone involved with the show that he was planning a big surprise for the finale. But it wasn't a proposal. The surprise turned out to be Juan Pablo debunking the Bachelor and basically calling everyone who has played the game to be pretty little liars. People gasped and tsk-tsked and shook their heads at the Pablonator. BUT THE DUDE WAS RIGHT. And as for Nikki, she's slyly playing the game too, hanging in there with this jerk so she can get noticed, get publicity, get paid. Go get 'em, Nik.

All season long, there's been buzz that show producers and host Harrison have truly despised working with Juan Pablo. That's understandable: He's an insensitive tool. But I'm willing to bet they also respect him in a way. He also happens to be a refreshing tool. And oh yeah, in the end, the entire world is talking about this truth-spewing dope and the most controversial season yet of The Bachelor. As far as ABC is concerned, that, and not Disney princess love, was the mission all along.

[Last modified: Tuesday, March 11, 2014 12:55pm]

    

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