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Empire, Season 2, Episode 7: Don't make us start watching Black-ish instead

Jamal Lyon (Jussie Smollett) being the only non-crazy person in this episode of Empire.

Chuck Hodes/Fox

Jamal Lyon (Jussie Smollett) being the only non-crazy person in this episode of Empire.



The only reason this recap wasn't ready early this morning is because it took me all day to figure out what happened last night.

No, like seriously. Is the entire writers room tripping? Who rushes out on threesome to go and record a track with the gun with the gun their mother presumably killed herself with? It wasn't just weird. It was boring. Be better, Empire. We're all in, so don't make us regret skipping Black-ish

On to the brief and super weak rankings for the week. Can't say there were any winners, but there were less losers than usual. 

6. Cookie was in deep with Laz, the promoter/gang banger who helped kidnap and ransom her son, spending literal days in bed with a man she should be putting a bullet in. She also lost a fight with Hakeem about demoting Lauren in the Latina girl-group, Miraj A Trois (ick!), because she didn't have star power. Laz convinced her to pay his gang a protection fee to hold her show, further betraying the show's hero. I'm sure the payoff will be great, but right now, Cookie's blindness is infuriating. 

5. Andre gets the rug yanked from under him when Mimi Whiteman flexed her muscle in Empire's boardroom. She pushed for a merger with a shaky, failing streaming service and we've all heard this story before (ahem, Tidal). His dad also asked him to sleep with the deputy mayor to clear Freda Gatz's criminal record, which kind of went against that whole being baptized two weeks ago. He blackmailed the DM instead but still felt icky until he got home to finally break Rhonda's loving drought. 

4. Lucious struggled all episode to help Freda finish Boom Boom Boom Boom and then slugged the streaming service owner for offending him. He got the deal done, but walked out on the celebration threesome with Mimi and a rando to finish recording with Freda. His revelation came from a gun tattooed on the rando's inner thigh that made him think of the time his mother played Russian Roulette in front of him. No words that follow can describe how disturbing that last sentence was to write.

3. Hakeem went all Mr. Miyagi for Lauren, who almost got her spot taken by Latina back up singer number 2 in an on stage shove off. He does possess unmerited amounts of confidence and spent all episode building Lauren's until she could withstand a little pushing and shoving in the spotlight. Our favorite third son also got to assert himself as a partner in Lyon Dynasty by crashing the negotiations with the gang members who kidnapped him and haggling about the price for protection at a show. He warned Cookie about Laz because he's suddenly all lucid again. 

2. Laz got to spend days in bed with Cookie and then got more money out of her by tricking her into buying protection from his gang. His death will be gruesome. His killer is still undetermined. 

1. Jamal won the week because he finally realized that Cookie is love and you can always count on her to make something ordinary fabulous. She classed up his latest song with her know-how and supported him secretly -- hiding their reconciliation from Lucious and Hakeem. Jamal got to perform his new song in the living room of a Clive Davis knock-off and this could be the start of Jamal's rising star going supernova. At least he'll have Lyon Dynasty to fall back on when that streaming service bankrupts Empire.   

[Last modified: Thursday, November 12, 2015 3:41pm]


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