Game of Thrones: How the queens got justice and the meeting two decades in the making
Some Game of Thrones fans have been waiting for this meeting of Ice and Fire since the first book published in 1996.
Jon Snow, the King of the North, and Daenerys Targaryen, rightful heir to the Iron Throne, finally met on last night's episode. Important not only because they're two of the biggest power players in the kingdom, but also because they're secretly related.
As it was finally confirmed last season, Jon is actually also a Targaryen, namely the son of Lyanna Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen. It makes Jon Dany's nephew, and if we're following traditional lines of succession, the actual heir to the throne.
So, a fun reunion, right?
Not so much.
Oh, and Jon also got his first glimpse of one of Dany's dragons. It's safe to say by the look on his face that he probably peed his pants a little.
Jon "I'm not a Stark" Snow vs. Daenerys "I was born to rule" Targaryen
Fans wanted a joyous meeting, but Game of Thrones is anything but full of joy.
When Jon and Ser Davos walk into the throne room on Dragonstone, Missandei begins to list off Daenerys' many MANY titles. As the late King Robert Baratheon would say, "titles titles titles."
When she's done, Davos says proclaims Jon is, well, Jon Snow.
Daenerys called Jon to Dragonstone to bend the knee, pledge his loyalty to her cause and give up his title of King of the North in favor of becoming Warden of the North.
But Jon has a bigger problem he's more concerned about -- the Night King and his army of undead white walkers heading straight for Westeros. He refuses to pledge his allegiance because he believes their efforts need to be used for fighting the coming long night and not seeking revenge and taking the throne from Cersei.
Daenerys is, understandably, not happy.
She's spent years in exile and poverty and being abused. She's spent her whole life fighting to get back to reclaim what is rightfully hers. She's not about to give up while she's ahead.
And thus ends the tepid water created from the meeting of Ice and Fire.
Daenerys and Jon are in a stalemate, and it's up to their closest advisors to get them both to see reason and compromise.
Dany's Hand of the Queen, Tyrion Lannister, goes way back to Season 1 with Jon. Their chat on the edge of a cliff of Dragonstone reveals that while Tyrion can only do so much to sway Dany's mind, he can offer Jon help in other ways.
By the end of the episode, Davos let slips (sort of) that Jon died and came back to life, Jon and Dany go back and forth on who suffered more to get where they are now and Tyrion convinces Dany to let Jon's men mine for the mountain of dragon glass inside Dragonstone.
So, sort of a win-win?
The queens of justice
Last week, Yara Greyjoy's fleet was attacked and captured by her uncle Euron's armada. And now he's returned to Kings Landing to show off his prizes of war to the woman he wants to marry -- Queen Cersei.
Showing off Yara and the two remaining Sand Snakes in chains, the leather punk Euron sleazes all over the Iron Throne and brings out the second best face in Jaime Lannister.
Below in the dungeons, Cersei gets to turn the tables on another set of enemies who've cruelly wronged her. This time, it's mother and daughter Ellaria and Tyene Sand.
Cersei's daughter Myrcella is dead because of Ellaria and her poison kiss. Fittingly, Cersei's scummy maester recreated the poison used on Myrcella so she can give Tyene the same kiss of death.
The poison is slow-working, so we don't see Tyene die just yet. And it's only a matter of time before Cersei cruelly murder Ellaria as well. But the story of Dorne is done.
Cersei also got her revenge against Lady Olenna Tyrell at the episode's end while outsmarting Dany's unsullied army, which attacked Casterly Rock.
While the unsullied take Casterly Rock, Jaime and the bulk of the Lannister army take Highgarden, home to the wealthiest family in Westeros.
At the end of last season, the heirs to Highgarden were wiped out by Cersei and her wildfire, which killed Queen Margaery and her brother Loras.
All that's left is Lady Olenna, their grandmother, otherwise known as the sassiest wielder of shade this side of the Narrow Sea.
Lady Olenna unfortunately meets her end in this episode, but not before revealing to Jaime that she was the one who poisoned King Joffrey in Season 4. I want her last words engraved on my urn along with a portrait of Jaime's shocked face.
"Tell Cersei I want her to know it was me," she says after gulping down a poisoned glass of wine.
She wasn't technically a queen, but she will forever be the queen of shade in our book.
I know Bran Stark is going through his hippie, three-eyed raven phase, but could he at least ACT like he was excited to be reunited with Sansa?
While Sansa cries into his shoulder hugging him, he just blank stares off into the distance. When the siblings catch up in the Godwood, Bran channels his inner Jedi Luke Skywalker and gives Sansa non-answers and little explanation.
"I'm the three-eyed raven," he says.
"I don't know what that means," Sansa says.
Girl, we are in the same boat.
Contact Chelsea Tatham at firstname.lastname@example.org. Follow @chelseatatham.