'Game of Thrones,' Season 6 premiere: Hell hath no fury
When are the men of Westeros going to learn not to mess with the ladies?
You scorn them and they may take days, months or years to seek their vengeance. But they will have it one way or another.
Game of Thrones' season premiere, ‘The Red Woman,' dove right into where we left off — Jon Snow lying in a pool of his own blood in the snow.
His murder left Castle Black divided. Half the men supported his murder, some were just swayed to support Alliser Thorne as the new commander and just a few were started to make plans for revenge.
Possibly the only two remaining from the short reign of Stannis Baratheon, Ser Davos and Lady Melisandre were left to mourn both their king and their Lord Commander.
Davos tries to make plans to take back the castle from Thorne, Thorne promises him amnesty if he puts down his arms and we get to see Melisandre's true form.
The episode ends with the Red Woman in her room, studying her pained face in a grimy mirror. She removes her clothing and then her necklace, which is holding a fiery stone that flames out when she removes it. Seconds later, we see the reflection of an old, decrepit woman staring back.
Whatever power that necklace holds, Melisandre is not a young, beautiful woman. She's only wearing the guise of one.
What the ... ?
Could this mean she has the power to bring Jon back to life like red priest Thoros did for Beric Dondarrion in season three? Game of Thrones won't show us this soon.
Meanwhile, in Dorne ...
The Sand Snakes, led by Ellaria Sand, take matters into their own hands.
The end of last season saw Ellaria struggling to get her prince, Doran Martell, to approve revenge for her lost lover Oberyn Martell.
Defying his orders, Ellaria poisoned Myrcella Lannister, effectively killing her before she could make it back to her family.
Seconds after reading a scroll announcing Myrcella's death, Ellaria's daughter stabs Doran's guard. Ellaria then murders the prince of Dorne where he sits.
"Weak men will never rule in Dorne again," she spits at him, watching his bleed to death.
Back on the boat carrying Myrcella, her betrothed Prince Tristan is confronted by two Sand Snakes bent on killing him. He picks the one with the whip to fight, but is stopped by a spear to the head before he can make a move.
Are there any men left in Dorne at this point?
Across the Narrow Sea in Braavos, Arya has become a filthy, blind beggar.
Her hearing may have sharpened, but she doesn't sense her former coworker at the House of Black and White approaching until she tells her "get up, blind girl" and throws a stick at her to fight.
They tussle with the long staffs, with mostly the rude waif getting in the most jabs and smacks to Arya's face.
She finally lets up with a promise to be back tomorrow.
In King's Landing, Cersei appears defeated.
Her shorn hair gives her an air of humbleness and innocence we definitely aren't use to seeing in a woman with snake tongue.
Her little excitement over Jaime's return from Dorne is short lived when she watches him sail ashore with the casket of her daughter, Myrcella.
You had one job, Jaime, and you failed miserably.
The siblings/couple only have one another now. All but one of their children gone, their father's gone and their younger brother escaped to some far off land after murdering their father.
Cersei cries talking about her sweet Myrcella. She was good and didn't deserve this life. She mentions the prophecy she received from the witch in the woods we saw at the beginning of last season, who predicted all Cersei's children would die young. "Gold would be their shrouds," she said.
"F*** everyone who isn't us," Jaime says to comfort her. "We are going to take everything back."
Still tucked away in a prison cell, Margaery is forced to listen to the rambling scriptures of a Septon. Her only relief will come if she confesses.
The High Sparrow comes in to urge her again to confess, prodding her with news of her husband's longing for her. We all know what wee Tommen really misses.
The fate of our sweet Sansa has finally made a turn for the better.
She and Theon were lucky to not have seriously injured themselves jumping from the high walls of Winterfell, but now they must contend with Ramsay's hunting party.
Even after escaping them through an icy river crossing, their hiding place inside a fallen tree secludes them for only a time.
For the thousandth time this series, Brienne gallantly rides in to save the day, eliciting shouts of "It's a woman!" from the Bolton riders. Hearing the surprise at seeing the lady knight will never get old.
Again, Brienne bends the knee swearing loyalty and fealty to Sansa and vows to protect her at all costs. Sansa accepts her vow and stumbling through the responding vow with a little help from Pod, everyone's favorite squire.
At Winterfell, Ramsay is kinda sorta mourning the death of the kennel master's daughter with sweet words like "when I first met her, she smelled like dog" and "don't have her burned, she'll make good meat for the dogs."
Tyrion and Varys are trying to keep Meereen together the best they can. Daenerys' arrival caused much upheaval and tension, and her departure only made it worse.
Former slaves and masters are divided, and a third party entered the mix in the form of Sons of the Harpy. The two are desperate to get her back, but more desperate to keep chaos at bay.
The two man hunting party they sent out — Jorah and Daario Naharis — take advantage of their bro time to talk about their fondness for Daenerys. They both want her, but only one of them has had her.
"I want to see what the world looks like when she's done conquering it," Daario says.
Further into the horse lands, Daenerys is being dragged along with the Dothraki war party and taunted by the two men watching her from their horses.
She listens to their lewd comments with silence, not wanting to give away that she can understand them.
When they arrive at camp, she's taken to Khal Moro for questioning. She doesn't let up that she can speak with them until the Khal goes to rip off her dress.
Trying to cement her authority, she lists off her many titles, but the Khal isn't moved. He intends to make her his slave.
It's only when she says she is widow of Khal Drogo does Khal Moro let up. He quickly apologizes for disrespecting her and promises no harm will come to he there.
She asks to be returned to Meereen, but the Khal has other plans. The only place left for the widows of Khals is in Vaes Dothrak, specifically with the Dosh Khaleen, to live out the rest of her days.
Yikes, are we back to this option again?
Game of Thrones' season six premiere set every character up for revenge and redemption. Neither Cersei nor Margaery will be taken down without a fight. For Cersei, things can only get better for her from here.
Arya needs to continue her training as an assassin, but without Jaquen H'ghar, the training with the waif won't be painless. I see a reclamation of a throne in Winterfell and a certain abusive husband flayed for her sister, Sansa.
I don't know about everyone else, but that Red Woman needs to put her fire necklace back on, bring Jon Snow back to life and do some damage with the White Walkers and the fools at Castle Black.
Contact Chelsea Tatham at firstname.lastname@example.org. Follow @chelseatatham.