Recap: Hey 'Scandal' fans, chew on this
Oh boy. Remember when we called last week's episode of Scandal the show’s ickiest to date? Well, we were wrong. Last night's episode was flat-out gross. "Vermont is For Lovers, Too" can best be summed up in three classic Scandal quotes.
"She chewed her own wrist, sir." -Mama Pope’s doctor
The big gross-out moment of the night (and certainly the cause of the "viewer discretion” warning at the beginning of the episode) was our first real encounter with Olivia’s mother. Mama Pope seems like a swell gal. She just wants to see her daughter, after all. So she comes up with a plan to CHEW THROUGH HER OWN WRIST. Presumably it's to injure herself so badly that Papa Pope’s cronies can’t transport her to some "godforsaken" prison in an even more remote location than she’s already in. As character introductions go, it was one heck of a scene, and literally the most disgusting thing we’ve seen on network TV this side of Grey’s Anatomy. Never again, Scandal. (Also, we're giving Scandal one more episode before we demand to know just why Olivia's mom had to fake her own death and isn't allowed to see her daughter. There’s only so much ongoing mystery we can take.)
"Don't sell the house. Not yet." -Olivia
Olivia and Fitz rekindle their emotional and sexual relationship in a rustic mansion in Vermont, after lots of protests from Olivia. She even smashes the special presidential phone Fitz gave her! No matter. Fitz sends a helicopter to swoop her up and the next thing we know, they’re standing in some gorgeous, newly constructed house. Turns out, Fitz had it built for Olivia, and all of their children and jam-making dreams. He wants her to see it once before he sells it. Uh, really? It’s clear that Fitz can’t be bothered with actual presidential duties, but come on dude, you have time to build an entire house for your mistress? These are stressful times in America! In any case, Olivia is super into the gesture, even though it’s actually pretty creepy and delusional, when you think about it for two seconds. (I cringed when Fitz mentioned the bedrooms for their future children. What about his CURRENT children?!) These two sure know how to pull off a hot sex scene, but man, we’re not sure the show can sustain another foray into the Fitz/Olivia affair. Or that we want to see it. It looks like we’re going to get it though, because Olivia’s parting words to Fitz are to tell him not to sell the house, yet. How romantic.
“This isn’t a game, this is Watergate!” -Josephine Marcus
The third leg of this episode is about Lisa Kudrow's character Josephine Marcus withdrawing from the presidential race. Her sister/daughter Candy (really?) fakes a break-in to make their opponent look horrible, and it backfires and blows up in everyone's face. Scandal, no! We don't support this decision. Marcus is a great character, and Kudrow is so interesting in the role. We don't want to see her go. (Though at least that's one less plot to worry about.) Also, Harrison is apparently sleeping with Candy, which makes zero sense and should never be mentioned again.
The rest of the episode is just one big whaaat?! moment:
- Cyrus and Mellie come up with a plan to trick Cyrus’ husband into interviewing the vice president’s husband, hoping the secretly gay man comes on to James and they can get photographic evidence to use against the VP. Worst plan ever. James figures it out, and apparently cheats on Cyrus. Or, knows Cyrus is taking photos of the whole thing and pretends to cheat on him? Either way, stupid plot. Cyrus almost had James killed at one point, but this is a step too far? Puh-lease. (At least the plot gives us this amazing line from Cyrus: "Sally must suspect her husband's a big gay slut!")
- Huck figures out it was Quinn who killed that poor innocent security guard, and also that she was doing it for her new employer. At the end of the episode, he seems ready to torture information out of her, which seems a bit extreme. She got sucked into B613 like you did, Huck! Try sympathizing with the poor girl!
- Jake has nothing to do this week, seems more unnecessary than ever now that all of the dirt on Operation Remington is out there. Writers, please give Scott Foley something interesting to play, eh?
- Olivia's mom, who's supposed to be dead, just wanders up to her on the street and say hello. "Hi, Livy." Sure, that's plausible!