'The Bachelor,' Season 20, Episode 7: Paying your debts in tears
Becca Tilley should have known when she got the casting call.
She'd just finished a season of The Bachelor where she'd made it all the way to seeing Chris Soules' family. He wanted her to commit to moving to Iowa. She wanted to remain long distance until she was sure. He proposed to someone else. She wished him well.
It wasn't enough to quench the thirsty Bachelor universe -- an entity that survives solely on tears.
No, Becca would have to pay. So they brought her back and gave her a shot at Ben, who can be more reassuring than a kindergarten teacher at times. He took her to a wedding chapel for their first date. He never demanded any of the women move to his hometown. Ben was all about getting to know each other and taking it slow. She started to fall.
And one week shy of hometowns -- the bench mark of Ben's seriousness -- she got the ax. And she paid her debt to the Bachelor universe. But it's tough to tell if the tears were for Ben or for the embarrassment of having been tricked into coming back for this very moment.
Either way, it was glorious.
Let this be a lesson to all who think they can come to The Bachelor and refuse to play the game. We will not rest until we see your pain and abject humiliation in living color, for we are evil, and this is our only pleasure in life.
Wow, that got unexpectedly dark fast. On to some meaningless dates!
Ben took the girls to his hometown, Warsaw, Ind., because of course.
They stayed in a house on the lake behind Ben's parents house and he took no time asking Lauren B. out on his first one-on-one date. Asking instead of sending in Chris Harrison with a date card was a double slap in the face to the other girls who had to witness it.
Blauren, as they will be called from here on out, took a tour of Ben's town which consisted of his elementary school, high school, a dive bar, and a community center where Ben used to work. Little kids were excited to see the camera crews, I mean, Ben, and they played around until Indiana Pacers Paul George and George Hill showed up to make it worthwhile for these children to have shown up and staged for hours.
During the second half of their date, Blauren addressed the Leah saga and Ben said what we'd known all along, that nothing said by anybody could make him love Lauren B. less. Blauren is so uggh.
The next date card went to JoJo, who got a full day date at the Chicago Cubs' Wrigley Field. They played around, donned jerseys that said Mr. and Mrs. Higgins, and had dinner in center field. JoJo admitted she was scared to give her heart to Ben just yet, and we all know how much he loves to be lead on.
The third date was group outing to a farm to fly kites and look silly for Caila, Becca and Amanda. Becca asked Ben not to blind side her if he wasn't feeling it. Caila talked about how she doesn't have a community like Ben's because she has moved 17 times in her life. She was worried that would make her less ideal. Amanda told Ben she was excited for him to meet her kids. Somehow we think Ben will like the idea of children more than actual children.
Amanda got the coveted group date rose, which granted her not only a pass into hometown week but also an extended date. Ben took her to work the drive through at McDonald's and to a street fair where the mayor of Warsaw honored Ben and forgot to even say her name. #romantic
Fun fact: Giant Ben screams like an elementary school kid on fair rides.
Emily was the week's final one-on-one date and entire painful experience validated everything I said last week about the shenanigans of eliminating Olivia how he did. He picked Emily up on a boat and took her directly to meet his parents. She hinted that her dream was to be an NFL cheerleader and the Denver Broncos would be a great place to work. Hint, hint, wink, Mr. Elway.
Her nervousness, chatty nature and vapid conversation betrayed her age and gave Ben's mom some pause. The Bachelor rule no. 235: If mom is not on board, you do not get a rose.
Emily thought everything was fine on the boat ride back until they got back to the house where the other girls were and he said he didn't see her as his wife. Unlike other women, she got to cry on the other girls' shoulders before making her exit.
Then, it was rose ceremony time and everyone including Becca knew the score. It was time to cry. Ben handed out his roses and walked Becca toward the car.
"I said 'Please don't blind side me," Becca said.
Next time, ask for a pony, Becca. It's more realistic.