"No gifts, please" on birthday invite

SEPTEMBER 29, 2009

We recently received a birthday party invitation that included a plea of "No gifts, please, your presence is present enough." I was delighted, but a friend of mine who got the same invitation thought it was rude. She also thinks gift registries are rude because that's like begging for a gift, so she thinks the opposite is also true. A gift is voluntary and to even make a plea for or against them is rude, she maintains.

I just do not agree. I have tried and failed to have no gifts at our birthday parties. My point of view is that my son's birthday comes only a few months after Christmas, and he wanted to invite his whole preschool class to a park or something and I'm fine with inviting everyone. But then I envision 15 presents from those kids, plus the ones from my parents and the aunts and it's just overwhelming and feels grotesquely out of order. The kid has everything he needs, why not just have a day where we can play, have some cake, play some games and the parents don't have to feel obligated to come with a gift?

A friend of mine tried a "No gifts" invite when her son was 3 and was ignored by most of the party goers. The few that respected her wishes felt bad. So at my son's 5th birthday, I suggested "instead of a gift, please bring a donation of books or art supplies that will be donated to the United Way day care center." That worked because some people brought both a gift and a donation, but the folks that honored my request didn't feel bad.

I really hope my kids don't end up the materialistic sort. My son loved bringing that big bunch of art supplies to the day care center, and they made a big deal about what a nice kid he was. That was the best present of all.

-- Sharon Kennedy Wynne

Posted by Times Editor at 6:00:00 am on September 29, 2009 in

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Sharon Kennedy Wynne has sunscreen in her blood. She may have been born in Buffalo but she got here as fast as she could, in time for kindergarten. She grew up in St. Petersburg, graduated from the University of Florida journalism school, and even got married at Sunken Gardens. She's one of the few adults we know who actually loves taking her kids to the beach. She has two sons and with 10 years of parenting under her belt, she's starting to feel a little less out of her league. She comes from a large family and loves to debate, so brace yourself when the hot topics come up.

E-mail Sharon Kennedy Wynne:
wynne@tampabay.com

After six long years of trying to have a baby, Kate Brassfield was finally able to have one. And then, two minutes later, another one. Suddenly the lady who had never been around babies before was juggling two! Just as Kate felt she was getting pretty good with babies, the girls became toddlers, and now Kate is back to Square One, learning about the care and feeding of these strange, wonderful creatures. She spends her days working part-time from home and trying to keep up with the Twinosaurus Wrecks.

E-mail Kate Brassfield:
katedaphne17@gmail.com

Freelance writer Courtney Cairns Pastor wasn’t so sure about having kids and how she would balance child-rearing with her journalism career. It turned out that her journalism training went to good use. As the mom to a funny, active toddler, she learned to handle him like she did her sources. Never ask yes or no questions (the answer will always be no), get him to be specific (are you crying because you’re wet or your tooth hurts?) and be prepared for anything because no two days are the same. When she’s not playing trucks, Courtney crams for her book club, trains for races and occasionally bursts into showtunes. E-mail her at courtneyblogs@gmail.com.

Suzannah DiMarzio has it bad for the Mouse. Although she grew up outside of Boston, she took her degree in tourism management down to Orlando just to work at Disney and the travel industry. Of course, when she married her high school sweetheart, the reception was at Disney. She’s now a seasoned stay-at-home mom to two tweens and a toddler – and yes, that is as crazy as it sounds. Suzannah has her own blog, ZannaLand.com , and she's a member of the Walt Disney World Moms Panel in addition to being addicted to Twitter, iced coffee, and watching way too much Yo, Gabba Gabba.

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