Tampabay.com

MARCH 31, 2010

What should we do with bullies?

I am so depressed at the news of another teen killing herself to escape bullying. We just had a similar case in the Tampa Bay area. Now comes the news of a kid who was charged with bringing knives to school, but here's the clincher: She did it to ward off bullies.

Considering the dramatic reactions, what are we to do with this? Bullying in some respect is a right of passage, but when you add in the Internet element and the barrage that can result when Facebook, Twitter and e-mail can create a virtual pile-on, it gets overwhelming for a kid.

Typically the aftermath has been taken to civil court, but in the Massachusetts case, nine teens have been charged with multiple harassment crimes.  School officials and legal experts say there is now some urgency in finding ways to prevent such a tragedy.

Here are some tips on how to check that your own kid isn't getting bullied or being one. You would think it goes without saying that parents don't want their kids to bully other kids. But it seems that maybe parents need to talk to their own kids about it and check their Facebook, My Space and Twitter accounts to see if they are being bullied or being bullies. And I like these Do's and Don'ts from author Barbara Coloroso (Kids Are Worth It):

DO
Tell your child, “I hear you; I am here for you; I believe you; you are not alone in this.”
Tell your child, “It is not your fault.”
Tell your child, “There are things you can do.”
Report the bullying to school personnel.

DONT'S:
Don’t minimalize, rationalize or explain away the bully’s behavior.
Don’t solve the problem for your child.
Don’t tell your child to avoid the bully, teach them how not to be a victim.
Don’t tell your child to fight back.
Don’t confront the bully or the bully’s parents alone.

But what do we think about the prosecutor in Colorado who charged the kids with a crime for this? Is that the next wave of bully prevention?

-- Sharon Kennedy Wynne

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THE AUTHORS

Sharon Kennedy Wynne has sunscreen in her blood. She may have been born in Buffalo but she got here as fast as she could, in time for kindergarten. She grew up in St. Petersburg, graduated from the University of Florida journalism school, and even got married at Sunken Gardens. She's one of the few adults we know who actually loves taking her kids to the beach. She has two sons and with 10 years of parenting under her belt, she's starting to feel a little less out of her league. She comes from a large family and loves to debate, so brace yourself when the hot topics come up.

E-mail Sharon Kennedy Wynne:
wynne@tampabay.com

SP_255665_CROS_KATE.jpgAfter six long years of trying to have a baby, Kate Brassfield was finally able to have one. And then, two minutes later, another one. Suddenly the lady who had never been around babies before was juggling two! Just as Kate felt she was getting pretty good with babies, the girls became toddlers, and now Kate is back to Square One, learning about the care and feeding of these strange, wonderful creatures. She spends her days working part-time from home and trying to keep up with the Twinosaurus Wrecks.

E-mail Kate Brassfield:
katedaphne17@gmail.com

Freelance writer Courtney Cairns Pastor wasn’t so sure about having kids and how she would balance child-rearing with her journalism career. It turned out that her journalism training went to good use. As the mom to a funny, active toddler, she learned to handle him like she did her sources. Never ask yes or no questions (the answer will always be no), get him to be specific (are you crying because you’re wet or your tooth hurts?) and be prepared for anything because no two days are the same. When she’s not playing trucks, Courtney crams for her book club, trains for races and occasionally bursts into showtunes. E-mail her at courtneyblogs@gmail.com.

Suzannah DiMarzio has it bad for the Mouse. Although she grew up outside of Boston, she took her degree in tourism management down to Orlando just to work at Disney and the travel industry. Of course, when she married her high school sweetheart, the reception was at Disney. She’s now a seasoned stay-at-home mom to two tweens and a toddler – and yes, that is as crazy as it sounds. Suzannah has her own blog, ZannaLand.com , and she's a member of the Walt Disney World Moms Panel in addition to being addicted to Twitter, iced coffee, and watching way too much Yo, Gabba Gabba.

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