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Are kids sucking up all your free time?
This is an interesting essay from the Washington Post that puts a twist on the tired old subject of helicopter parenting. Most articles focus on how bad it is for the kids, who get overly dependent and lack independence because Mom never leaves their side. Writer Margaret K. Nelson, author of Parenting Out of Control: Anxious Parents in Uncertain Times, argues that it's also bad for the mom. The endless hours spent previewing movies, helping with homework, escorting them to play dates and sitting on the sidelines of sports fields are the reason, Nelson argues, that hyper-involved women have more divorces, fewer friendships and non-existent free time.
She writes: According to sociologists Suzanne Bianchi, John Robinson and Melissa Milkie, adults in 2000 spent less time with their spouses than adults did in 1975, as they spent more time at work and more time with their children. The higher divorce rate among women with high-pressure careers could therefore be both a cause and a consequence of intense devotion to one's children: These mothers may find that the only reliable, and persistent, relationships are those with their kids.
I can definitely recognize myself in some of these statistics, finding it hard to remember the last time I went shopping with a girlfriend or had adults-only nights out or even just curled up with a book for a few hours and let the household chores wait. After stopping at the second birthday party of the day one recent Saturday, I whined that my kids have a better social life than I do. I thought it was a funny joke, but maybe that's really more sad than funny.
~ Sharon Kennedy Wynne
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THE AUTHORS
Sharon Kennedy Wynne has sunscreen in her blood. She may have been born in Buffalo but she got here as fast as she could, in time for kindergarten. She grew up in St. Petersburg, graduated from the University of Florida journalism school, and even got married at Sunken Gardens. She's one of the few adults we know who actually loves taking her kids to the beach. She has two sons and with 10 years of parenting under her belt, she's starting to feel a little less out of her league. She comes from a large family and loves to debate, so brace yourself when the hot topics come up.
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Freelance writer Courtney Cairns Pastor wasn’t so sure about having kids and how she would balance child-rearing with her journalism career. It turned out that her journalism training went to good use. As the mom to a funny, active toddler, she learned to handle him like she did her sources. Never ask yes or no questions (the answer will always be no), get him to be specific (are you crying because you’re wet or your tooth hurts?) and be prepared for anything because no two days are the same. When she’s not playing trucks, Courtney crams for her book club, trains for races and occasionally bursts into showtunes. E-mail her at 
Suzannah DiMarzio has it bad for the Mouse. Although she grew up outside of Boston, she took her degree in tourism management down to Orlando just to work at Disney and the travel industry. Of course, when she married her high school sweetheart, the reception was at Disney. She’s now a seasoned stay-at-home mom to two tweens and a toddler – and yes, that is as crazy as it sounds. Suzannah has her own blog, Comment Policy
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