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Whoa, Momma!

Sharon Kennedy Wynne, Tracey Henry and Suzannah DiMarzio

Back-to-school rumor dispelled



5289551-2251x1501 There’s this awful rumor going on out there, and I think it’s time we set the record straight.

It seems there are some among us--some crazy-talking McCrazies from Crazytown -- that are under the mad delusion that just because school has resumed, we parents are going to have “so much extra time on our hands.”

This is a popular myth -- I hear it often in grocery store and post office lines.. But it is a blatant untruth, and those perpetrators should stop immediately spreading these hurtful lies. There is not a single parent I know that has a 25-hour day in the 37 days of September. In fact, most families I’m familiar with return to their relentless schedules of insanity once again at the start of every school year.

The First Day of School should not be confused with Daylight Saving Time. When you drop off the children at school, they don’t hand you a box of extra time in return. No, instead they hand you sports and play practice schedules. Field trip chaperon requests and assignments for things that use tri-boards only sold at specialty stores 40 miles away. And let’s not forget those “jobs” and caretaking of preschool children that are so popular with the adults these days.

I’m not complaining, mind you, I just don’t want anyone to think I’m any closer to putting those pictures in the photo album than I was six months ago.

Instead of picking up bathing suits from the floor, it’s backpacks. Instead of making lunch at noon, it’s at 6 a.m. in a paper sack. Dinner is prepared at three in the afternoon so we can eat before baseball. Homework, baths, bed. The whole day just seems to slide back a bit.

It’s sort of like Spanx or control-top pantyhose -- you’re not really losing any weight when you wrangle a pair on, you are just redistributing your thighs earlier on your legs. So while I may be redistributing time with my children, there is no net gain at the end of a long, long, long school day.

So while I appreciate that it may appear as though I have extra time to keep up with the housework or go to the gym with 3/4 of the kids in school for much of the day -- I don’t.

(Which is probably why I will continue to use Spanx for my thighs as well as random allusions to school schedules.)

-- Tracey Henry, the Suburban Diva


[Last modified: Thursday, May 13, 2010 11:02am]


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