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Whoa, Momma!

Sharon Kennedy Wynne, Tracey Henry and Suzannah DiMarzio

Dad's sage (or rather, citrus) advice for Mom's Cold



Usedkleenex My grandmother says, “Feed a fever and starve a cold.”

The doctor says, “Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.”

My husband says, “Take 40,000 mg of Vitamin C, a B-12, 6 Echinacea tablets, and a tablespoon of eye of newt.”

For some strange, out-of-character reason during cold season, my husband becomes a raging herbalist. This is the man who usually eats like a pregnant woman, with some of the weirdest food combos since Iron Chef: Battle Sea Urchin. I have seen him order a side of bacon with his bacon. However, if either one of us has a cold--like I did this weekend--then somehow he believes that massive amounts of nutritional supplements will cure what ails us.

My contention is that while Vitamin C may be effective in the early onset of a cold, there comes a distinct point when your immune system is not just compromised, but shut down and you may actually need a good old-fashioned antibiotic. When you haven’t been able to hear out of your right ear since last citrus season for instance, perhaps it’s time to visit an M.D. rather GNC.

He will have none of it.

“I still think if you took your C’s this morning, you’d feel better,” he says as I line up for a chest X-ray.

“Sweet pea, I'd appreciate that if I had scurvy, but I think I have a sinus infection at this point.”

“And you haven’t even tried the Echinacea.”

I cough. “I took one, but I think the nausea might have negated the effects.”

So, darling, I know you weren’t able to hear me through my laryngitis this morning, so you’ll be happy to know that I took my amoxicillin, three Prednisones, Mucinex and Nasonex that a doctor prescribed with a big ol' glass of O.J. this morning. I’m sure I’ll feel as good as new when you get home for dinner tonight.

We’re having crow a l’Orange.

--Suburban Diva

[Last modified: Thursday, May 13, 2010 10:58am]


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