The Great Debates -- home version
Issue: The campaign this October
Youngest Son: Can I go as the Grim Reaper for Halloween this year?
Me: I don't think the school allows you to be something that gruesome.
Youngest Son: I'll be a friendly Grim Reaper.
Winner: Youngest Son, at first blush, but the school's principal may ultimately prevail on this point.
Oldest Son: Can we have another sleepover tonight?
Me: No, I don't like back-to-back sleepovers during the school year.
Oldest Son: That's okay because we never really sleep anyway.
Winner: Oldest Son -- I'm too tired to offer a rebuttal.
Issue: Health Care.
Pharmacist: It's a day too early to refill that prescription with your insurance, so if you want it now, you can pay the out-of-pocket price.
Me: How much is that?
Pharmacist: $187.50. Your co-pay amount is $10 bucks tomorrow.
Winner: Walgreens -- (They also win on the issue of the economy because I spent twice as much by making 2 trips to pick up the prescription.)
Issue: Global Warming
Me (to 4 year-old Daughter): Please don't sit on that carton of eggs, you'll break them.
Jr. Sierra Club Member: I'm the Mommy bird keeping them warm.
Winner: Toss up -- But definitely not the carton of eggs.
Issue: Social Security
22 Year-Old Nephew/House Guest: Could you call me your son or something when we're out so people don't think I'm older than I am?
Me: But then they'd think that I was older than I am.
Winner: Me -- In my rose-colored world, I'm 22, and he's the old, crazy lunatic yelling at the television set in a room full of cats clipping coupons and old newspaper articles.
Final Issue of the Evening: Ending hunger
Me: Should I polish off that pan of brownies or resist the temptation?
Me Again: (Since no one will talk politics with me anymore) Don't do it, you'll regret it later. You know the difference between you and a pig?
Me: Um, lipstick?
Me: No, that pan of brownies.
Winner: Not that pan of brownies.