I miss them. Totally and completely. My heart aches and I constantly worry about theirs. The 3 year old usually never fusses when I leave for work or errands. It's always, "Bye, Mom!!" But recently, when I said goodbye to drive back to Tallahassee, she sobbed and hugged me like never before. I drove the whole way thinking about her body glued to mine and wondering how I could ever make it up to her.
The 8 year old appears more brave about the whole experience, but I know it's hurting her just as much. We talk on the phone twice a day, and sometimes exchange e-mails. It's not the same. It never could be.
Taking this amazing professional opportunity was a heart-wrenching decision. How could I leave them? How could I leave my husband? With his total support, I took the risk. It's for two months, and for these first few weeks, I can drive home every weeked.
The truth is, I'm so busy working this new assignment, I wouldn't see them at all even if I were home. But I would be closer. Able to sneak a hug or a laugh or a smile once a day. Instead, I try to send hugs through the phone. Pray that I'm not scarring them for life.
Mommas, give me strength. I really need it.
-- Amy Hollyfield