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Whoa, Momma!

Sharon Kennedy Wynne, Tracey Henry and Suzannah DiMarzio

Milestones you'd rather forget



When you have a baby or young child in the house, it's hard not to get excited about the milestones. First smile, first step, first words. As each milestone occurs, we rush to the baby book (or, for those with multiples or just many) the calendar, to mark the date for posterity. First haircut, first pair of shoes. Even when the little darlings get bigger, the milestones don't go away, they just get bigger too. First dance, first date, first day of high school, driver's license, first job.

But, there are some milestones we don't put in the baby book too. We don't need a baby book; some thing are burned into our brains forever. Here are some milestones we don't look forward to:

* At first, baby's diaper's didn't even stink! How sweet is that? But then came baby's first diaper blowout. Nevermind.
* Awwww! Baby found her nose! Eiwww, baby picks her nose.
* A little spit-up is no biggie; every baby has a wet burp now and then. But baby's first projectile vomit is in a whole new category of yuck.
* Baby's teething, poor lamb. Baby takes a bite out of Gramma's arm -- ouch.
* Baby starts showing her independence, what a big girl! Get the naughty step ready for baby's first temper tantrum!
* She behaves pretty well at her well-baby pediatrician visits. But baby's first ER visit? If she doesn't have a meltdown, momma might!
* He's big enough to play with Legos if he knows not to eat them, right? But his first Lego-up-the-nose experience will have you rethinking this whole block thing. Nothing smaller than a Zhu-Zhu Pet for this kiddo!
* When he stood up for the first time, you thought life would never be the same. When you looked away for a second, and looked back to find he had climbed to the back of the sofa and was about to be a bird ("Watch me, Momma!") you knew.

What are some milestones that you shudder to recall?

-- Kate Brassfield

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[Last modified: Tuesday, December 7, 2010 5:02pm]


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