Is parenting like a drug?

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NOVEMBER 29, 2010

Slate offers an interesting theory on parenting. We are junkies.

     But when parents think about parenting, they don't remember the background stress. They remember the cuddle and the kiss. Parenting is a series of intensely high highs, followed by long periods of frustration and stress, during which you go to great lengths to find your way back to that sofa and that kiss.
      We have a name for people who pursue rare moments of bliss at the expense of their wallets and their social and professional relationships: addicts.
      Children regularly give parents the kind of highs that only narcotics can rival. The unpredictability of those moments of bliss is an important factor in their addictiveness.

Interesting take. I know I was irritated by the studies and stories that almost gleefully reported how unhappy parents are. Evidence has shown it makes people less happy, that marriages suffer. This opened the door for the happily child-free, who love to disparage parents as selfish "breeders." What I think the studies keep missing is the depth of purpose, how rewarding it can feel in the end. But it's hard to remember that when you've got 10 loads of laundry and a kid puking on you.

So maybe we are just junkies, looking for that fix when all is right with world and a little boy just wants to curl on your lap while you read him a story.

--Sharon Kennedy Wynne

Posted by Sharon Wynne at 7:00:00 am on November 29, 2010 in

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Sharon Kennedy Wynne has sunscreen in her blood. She may have been born in Buffalo but she got here as fast as she could, in time for kindergarten. She grew up in St. Petersburg, graduated from the University of Florida journalism school, and even got married at Sunken Gardens. She's one of the few adults we know who actually loves taking her kids to the beach. She has two sons and with 10 years of parenting under her belt, she's starting to feel a little less out of her league. She comes from a large family and loves to debate, so brace yourself when the hot topics come up.

E-mail Sharon Kennedy Wynne:
wynne@tampabay.com

After six long years of trying to have a baby, Kate Brassfield was finally able to have one. And then, two minutes later, another one. Suddenly the lady who had never been around babies before was juggling two! Just as Kate felt she was getting pretty good with babies, the girls became toddlers, and now Kate is back to Square One, learning about the care and feeding of these strange, wonderful creatures. She spends her days working part-time from home and trying to keep up with the Twinosaurus Wrecks.

E-mail Kate Brassfield:
katedaphne17@gmail.com

Freelance writer Courtney Cairns Pastor wasn’t so sure about having kids and how she would balance child-rearing with her journalism career. It turned out that her journalism training went to good use. As the mom to a funny, active toddler, she learned to handle him like she did her sources. Never ask yes or no questions (the answer will always be no), get him to be specific (are you crying because you’re wet or your tooth hurts?) and be prepared for anything because no two days are the same. When she’s not playing trucks, Courtney crams for her book club, trains for races and occasionally bursts into showtunes. E-mail her at courtneyblogs@gmail.com.

Suzannah DiMarzio has it bad for the Mouse. Although she grew up outside of Boston, she took her degree in tourism management down to Orlando just to work at Disney and the travel industry. Of course, when she married her high school sweetheart, the reception was at Disney. She’s now a seasoned stay-at-home mom to two tweens and a toddler – and yes, that is as crazy as it sounds. Suzannah has her own blog, ZannaLand.com , and she's a member of the Walt Disney World Moms Panel in addition to being addicted to Twitter, iced coffee, and watching way too much Yo, Gabba Gabba.

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