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Whoa, Momma!

Sharon Kennedy Wynne, Tracey Henry and Suzannah DiMarzio

The sky-high text bill is the limit



Let’s define “unlimited texting” shall we?

About 6 months ago, we deluded ourselves into believing that our 12-year-old Cellphone son actually needed a cell phone. We pretended it was for those times when we weren’t around and he needed to get a hold of us. This was already insane, because he and his contemporaries aren’t left alone for more than 30 seconds, and that is only to go to the restroom. And even then he has to wear a helmet and sunscreen.

At the time, I just gave him my phone which included my basic plan. I had never gone over my minutes or texted more than twice, so I figured his needs were similar to mine.

*cue cruel cackling laughter at parental naiveté*

Oh we were fine for a few months. The cell phone sat uncharged, neglected and forgotten the few times we actually could have used it, like a good cell phone should.

And then school ended.

A few days ago, I received a call from Alltel notifying me of high usage this month. Hmmm, I wondered, how bad could it be? They probably just want to up sell me on my current plan.

*refrain cackle*

A very kind woman told me that I had exceeded my plan’s texts this month. “By how many?” I foolishly inquired. “Well, you’re allowed 750, and so far this month you are at 3,590.”

It was the 16th.

My son’s defense? “I thought I had unlimited texting.”

Silly me thought physics and the space and time continuum would be an automatic limit. How could one person possibly text 3,600 times in 16 days?

I shall fast forward past that very kind Alltel representative talking me down from the building I was going to hurl my body from as we changed our plan and she backed out the charges since we did it before the billing cycle’s closing date. She saved me $575 and also a justifiable homicide charge.

Once again, the phone is uncharged, neglected and forgotten like all good cell phones should be.

And my son during his considerable extra chore duties has learned that “unlimited” is not synonymous with “limitless.”

-- Suburban Diva (Read more from Tracey Henry, the Suburban Diva at her Web site)

[Last modified: Thursday, May 13, 2010 10:55am]


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