Always wanted to pet a manatee. Came close with a sock hop pickup named Becky back in junior high but that's another story.

Anyway, Princess Di (who thought her wet suit made her look like a ninja) and I drove before dawn Saturday to Crystal River and met a few of these magnificently passive creatures face-to-snout, snorkeling in Kings Bay with Capt. Mike's Sunshine River Tour. It's off-season right now -- winter months are when manatees crowd inland waters -- but Captain Ed on our boat knew where to find the few hanging around now.

The water was a bit murky, so the first time a manatee swam 3 feet away from my scuba-masked eyes, all I saw was a rounded tail that I immediately mistook for a stingray, prompting me to scream through my snorkel like a little girl. My eyes followed the form to the left and recognized it disappearing into the silt. Then I felt something on my right side, glanced in that direction and saw the snout of a female manatee (I'll tell you in a minute how I knew), curiously sniffing my head.

Maybe she thought I was another manatee, since my wet suit fit me like a sausage casing. And all this time I thought I had a body like a barracuda.

The manatee gently swam deeper, under me, and rose slightly to place her algae-coated back within scratching distance. That stuff itches, Captain Ed told us, so they appreciate the help. I scratched until she made a balletic turn, flipping over so I could scratch her stomach -- the universal animal kingdom sign of friendliness.

That's when she thrusted her manatee va-jay-jay at my face. I didn't scratch that. I'm a married man, you know.

Anyway, the trip was planned as part of an upcoming Weekend package. However, my editor decided (too late for a manatee tour refund) that a trip to Weeki Wachee Springs State Park would better serve our purposes, so we did both. We already planned the Weeki Wachee stop to visit with Porterhouse, son of our best friends Mr. and Mrs. T-Bone, who works at the attraction and swims in the Little Mermaid underwater show -- still one of Florida's finest tourist attractions after 62 years.

That's him in the water (above) with "Ariel," when she saves him after falling overboard. Porterhouse -- whom you know from his posts on this blog under his real name, Tanner -- gave Di and me a backstage tour of this historic place. Even let me flip a few switches on the water-bubble special effects board. Thanks again, pal. Mad waltz skillz at left, too.

Overall, a great day enjoying what made Florida a paradise to begin with. Now it's back to work, with a 10 a.m. screening of Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian, knocking out a review and hopefully fun sidebar, then an evening screening of Terminator Salvation. You know it's summertime when there's more contact with movies than manatees and mermen.