Pardon me if I'm typing with a British accent today. I'm getting into character for speaking this afternoon with Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York who, before becoming a Weight Watchers spokesperson, was dubbed the "Duchess of Pork" by catty English gossipers.

I don't believe I'll ask the Duchess about that. Or anything about her late sister-in-law Lady Diana Spencer, any other royal family member (except her daughters, if Her Grace deems it appropriate), or Prince William's possible future wife Kate Middleton. Not because I'm incurious (how's that for a classy word?) but because the Duchess' publicist insists I shouldn't.

Instead, our chat will focus on Fergie (which I'm not supposed to call her, by the way) and her role as co-producer of The Young Victoria, covering the monarch's first years on the throne as a teenager. Emily Blunt (The Devil Wears Prada, Sunshine Cleaning) plays Vicki, another name I won't use during the chat.

Another producer of the movie -- opening Christmas Day at Tampa Theatre -- is Martin Scorsese, causing me to wonder what those production discussions were like: "You talkin' to me, your highness? Am I funny like a clown or sumpin'?" Then Marty cues Sympathy for the Devil on his CD player and starts whacking.

Maybe I'll leave that out of the interview, too.

I do hope to ask about any confusion Her Grace has encountered with the other Fergie involved with a big holiday movie, the Black Eyed Peas' eye candy who provides Nine with one of its better scenes, singing Be Italian as a beach whore from the hero's youth.

I'm sure I'll get more ideas during my pre-interview screening of Sherlock Holmes starring Robert Downey, Jr. as the legendary British sleuth.

But I must know: What would you ask a royal family member if given the chance? I'll see if I can sneak one or two in, if they fit the protocol.

Until then, cheerio!