To the left, you'll find a picture of me dressed as Magnum P.I. Everything is in place for the perfect Halloween costume: the 'stache, the Tigers hat, the shades, the muscles, the sheepish boy-meets-man smirk, the chest hair which I had to glue on. The only thing missing is the red Ferrari, but if you squint, my champagne Mazda looks kinda fast.

For some reason, though, my Mag costume is failing miserably this year. "Uh, are you a tourist?" some bleeping bonehead asked me when I walked into his stinkin' Halloween bash last weekend. "Wait, I got it: You're Tony Soprano!" Tony Soprano? What, 'cause I'm fat? Finally, a lovely neighbor wandered into the party, looked at me and said, "I wanted my husband to go as Magnum!" I coulda kissed her -- but my mustache glue was weak, and I didn't want to risk it.

Please enjoy Part II of the Michael Myers Maniac Mix:

10.) The Blob -- the Five Blobs
9.) Somebody's Watching Me -- Rockwell
8.) Bela Lugosi's Dead -- Bauhaus
7.) Sympathy for the Devil -- the Rolling Stones
6.) Weird Science -- Oingo Boingo
5.) Thriller -- Michael Jackson
4.) Pet Sematary -- the Ramones
3.) Monster Mash -- Bobby "Boris" Pickett & the Crypt-Kickers
2.) I Put a Spell on You -- Screamin' Jay Hawkins
1.) Halloween Theme -- John Carpenter