Next Monday in Floridian, I'll be reviewing seven (7) of the newest American Idol releases, including Fantasia's latest, which is so shockingly good it's messing with my head. For now, though, here's a quickie look at Mr. Soul Patrol's debut, which was released today and will no doubt sell tons (40 copies to my mother at least).

TAYLOR HICKS

ALBUM: Taylor Hicks (Arista)

GRADE: C

WHY WE CARE: The world's oldest 30-year-old is the reigning American Idol champ, an incredibly earnest Everyman with a husky blue-eyed-soul voice, clunky dance moves and Newt Gingrich's hair. Hicks' rabid fanbase is called the Soul Patrol -- and no matter what I snark, they're gonna flip for this 12-track debut that might as well be Michael McDonald's third Motown album.

WHY WE DON'T REALLY LIKE IT: The pride of Birmingham, Ala., means well with his juke-joint cliches and Memphis horns, but seriously dude: When you sample Ray's What'd I Say and Marvin's Ain't That Peculiar IN THE SAME SONG, you're begging to get slapped. This guy "borrows" from so many people, I swear I saw a picture of my wallet in the liner notes. 

REMINDS US OF: Something we'd buy our mother for Christmas. (Just suck it up, sons and daughters. Target has it for $9.98.)

DOWNLOAD THESE: Dream Myself Awake (written by Rob Thomas), The Right Place (co-written by Bryan Adams)