This fall, the Forever Fiancee and I will celebrate our 14th (more or less) anniversary. We met as reporters for competing newspapers in Ocean City, Md.; we totally made out on our first date. We were both 23. We took a breather (more or less) for patches over the years, including my destructive Lusty Red Walls period in the early '00s, which finally ended when the FF broke into my Washington, D.C. quarters and performed her seductive Copacabana dance, a highly controversial series of Barry Manilow-intensive booty-shaking maneuvers that left me all but defenseless. Soon enough, Kid Lulu was percolating.

The FF and I are catching a heap of crap lately for the whole "not married" thingie. But I've given full clearance to my pals in Feather Sound to suprise us some night with a preacher and a 12-pack of beer. If I showed up, and there was some dude ready to marry us (and there was a 12-pack), I'd do it in a heartbeat. I would.

But what I'm REALLY worried about is that first-dance song. You can't kickstart the marriage with a lousy song. I was thinking a duet might be appropriate. But which one? So I started brainstorming the best duets. They came fast and furious; I'm a sucker for soft hits. The first one listed here might be right -- although Don't Fight It would work, too.

Anyway, here you go, THE BEST DUETS OF ALL TIME:    

Stop Draggin' My Heart Around -- Tom Petty & Stevie Nicks
Endless Love -- Lionel Richie & Diana Ross
You Don't Bring Me Flowers -- Neil Diamond & Barbra Streisand
Crying -- Roy Orbison & k.d. lang
Islands in the Stream -- Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton
Don't Go Breaking My Heart -- Elton John & Kiki Dee
You're All I Need to Get By -- Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell
Leather and Lace -- Don Henley & Stevie Nicks
Under Pressure -- David Bowie & Freddie Mercury
Don't Fight It -- Kenny Loggins & Steve Perry
The Closer I Get to You -- Roberta Flack & Donny Hathaway
Too Much Too Little Too Late -- Johnny Mathis & Deniece Williams
What Kind of Fool -- Barry Gibb & Barbra Streisand
I'll Be There for You/You're All I Need to Get By --Mary J. Blige & Method Man
This Is Us -- Mark Knopfler & Emmylou Harris
On My Own -- Michael McDonald & Patti LaBelle
Summer Nights -- Olivia Newton-John & John Travolta
Close My Eyes Forever -- Ozzy Osbourne & Lita Ford
Here We Go Again -- Ray Charles & Norah Jones
Say Say Say -- Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson