By now, you should be loose and limber for Tuesday's big American Idol kickoff, which we'll celebrate right here with our award-winning live Pop Life Idol Chat & Spring Cotillion. In recent days, we've tackled the 5 Worst Idol Top 12ers and the 5 Best. We've called each other names; we've bonded over misplaced aggression and Constantine Maroulis' come-hither sneer.

And now, because I didn't have anywhere else to put my incandescent favorite Idol contestant of all time, my surly scream-queen with Elsa Lanchester's 'do, I present to you the 5 Weirdest Idol Top 12ers:

5. Clay Aiken: I interviewed Season 2's Aiken a few years ago, and while he was polite and nice and not the creep some critics said he was, he also had a laugh that sounded like this: BweeeeHAAAAAheeemweeeehemmmm!!! I'm not saying that's bad, but I've lost less hearing at an AC/DC concert. Clay is a total dork, but he's aware of his dorkdom. Plus give him credit for courting the most intense Idol fans of all time: the Claymates. Love ya, ladies!

4. Kevin Covais: They called him "Chicken Little," and indeed, his concave chest and pre-K Hokey Pokey dance moves made me feel sorry for him. I'm sure he was of age, but I kept waiting for social services to take him somewhere safer. Of course, it was one of Season 5's great nailbiters whether Kevin would eventually get swallowed by Mandisa's cleavage.

3. Jason Castro: In Season 7, Moonface McDreadlocks, the master of the bonfire, marked a first for the venerable reality show: the Stoner. Seriously, Castro looked so loopy and disinterested most of the time, I expected to see him sitting in the vote-off chairs with a bong and 7-Eleven nachos.

2. Phil Stacey: Nosferatu! Am I the only man who realized that the seemingly benign Stacey was in fact Vlad the Impaler? How else to explain his hypnotic allure with the ladies? Yes, yes, he was a credit to our country, and a fine family man and all that. But let's be honest: He also turned into a bat sometimes. There, it's out there. I said it. Let's move on.

1. Amanda Overmyer-Daly: To paraphrase Ray Parker Jr., who should really be an Idol mentor this season: "I'm in love (I'M IN LOVE) with Amanda Overmyer-Daly! My life was fine (LIFE WAS FINE) 'til she blew my mind." Has there ever been an angrier, ornier sluggo than this beauty? And yet, beneath her five-pack-a-day-howl and unfortunate coiff, there lurked someone who, well, wanted to stab me and steal my wallet. I miss you, AOD. Call me!