For years, I was obsessed with Waffle House. I had NEVER been to one, mind you -- they were always just out of reach -- but I talked about the breakfast joint often, as if it were some syrupy, heart-stopping paradise. After a decade of hearing me Rain Main the possibilities of this culinary dreamland, the Forever Fiancee (we were living in Maryland at the time) finally stuffed me in a car and drove me to one, a mere hour away. The verdict: delicious. As a Floridian, I'm now surrounded by Waffle Houses, and I'm proud to say I enjoy my hash browns scattered, smothered, covered and chunked.

Since then, I've developed other fast-food obsessions: In-N-Out Burger, El Pollo Loco and so on. Each one has been conquered and enjoyed to the fattest. My newest obsession (poor FF) is Whataburger (since 1950!), which I finally visited the other day. There's one on Ulmerton Road in Largo. Every time we passed it, even if we were talking about the kids or taxes or jobs, I'd drop the conversation immediately and wonder aloud how majestic Whataburger was inside.

The answer, it turns out, is not very majestic at all. It's the epitome of generic fast-food design: ugly brown colors, hard booths, harsh lighting, plastic flora. The chow, however, was pretty good. The onion rings were battered and fried just right, crispy with some give. There was a condiment hostess wandering the premises like a ketchup cigarette girl. And as for the burger (I got the Bacon & Cheese Whataburger, jalapenos on demand), it's a big'un. My buddy Steve Persall complains that there's too much bread, and he's right: They boast of a 5-inch bun. But it's sweet, and squishy, and it works well with the sublimely greasy patty and slathering of onions, lettuce, tomato, pickles and "famous" mustard. I'd definitely pick Whataburger over McDonald's, Burger King, probably even Wendy's. In fact, I might go back this weekend to investigate further...

TOP 5 FAST-FOOD BURGER JOINTS
5. Whataburger
4. White Castle
3. Fatburger
2. Five Guys
1. In-N-Out Burger