So, I have this fish, see.

Her name is Phyllis. She's a red wag platy, and she's freaking HUGE. She's been huge for about a month now, and she's carrying most of her weight in the belly, if you knowhaimsaying. My boyfriend (who, OK, actually is the only one who takes care of the fish in our house) and I keep waiting for her to explode with a million baby platies, but she just keeps swimming around snatching flakes out of the hungry maws of her tankmates.

Her baby daddy, also a red wag platy who is half her size, follows her around EVERYWHERE. She's probably all like, "DUDE, I just need some SPACE, ya heard? Go watch the algae eater work on that rock or something. Help him with his home improvement project. Have a beer. ANYTHING. Out. Of. My. Grill."

I'm very nervous every time I look at her, mainly because I don't know the first thing about caring for other living beings, and I'm totally scared to see what happens when she drops her litter and then EATS THEM. Also, I'm starting to suspect that this terribly long gestation period may mean she's actually just binging on the barbecue chips, not carrying a million progeny. Oh geez. Pets are exhausting (she says as she NEVER feeds them).

Help Phyllis break her water (not that she'd know) with the Pregnant Fish Playlist. Lets hear your suggestions!

Sweet Child O' Mine - Guns N' Roses
All That She Wants - Ace of Base
You're Having My Baby - Paul Anka
Alive and Kicking - Simple Minds
There Goes My Life - Kenny Chesney
Eat For Two - 10000 Maniacs
Baby Mama - Fantasia

-- Stephanie Hayes, your guest blogger/fish grandma