Shakira
Album: She Wolf (Epic)
In stores: Monday
Her hips don’t lie...too bad they don’t sing, either: Colombia’s 32-year-old Shakira does one thing very, very well — and it’s not holding a tune. Or writing a song. Or buying a shirt that fits. Shakira Isabel Mebarak Ripoll has a superheroic ability to move ’n’ groove her hips not seen since Jessica Rabbit caused a three-car pileup in Toontown. On her new album, the boom-chica-boom beats and generic synths seemingly lifted from a 1979 episode of Dance Fever are there simply to inspire her hip bones. As for inspiration for the rest of us? Not so much. Shakira is a sexy performer, and an earnest one, too. But she sings as if she has a bottle of syrup lodged in her throat, and her mystic-hottie lyricism is neither shocking nor original enough to make an impact. The title track aims to be both a feminist growl and a promise for a hot night of lycanthropy. Unfortunately, it sounds like a dated Elvira spoof. Dance-floor burners Did It Again, Why Wait and Give It Up to Me (feat. Lil Wayne) are pretty generic, too, but hey, at least they’ll get people sweating. And maybe that’s all you really crave from a Shakira album anyway?
Reminds us of: The album’s best track is also its oddest: Spy, a duet with old Hips Don't Lie buddy Wyclef, is all about the kinky joys of voyeurism. Its hook is presumably Shakira or someone making a trumpet noise. Weird, but cool.
Download these: Why Wait, Men in This Town and Spy
Grade: C+