11 things that happened in July that would've been called SO FLORIDA had they happened in Florida
Bit later than usual to this, but I did it for January, and I did it for February, and I did it for March, and I did it for April, and I did it for May, and I did it for June, and so I pretty much had to do it for July, too, right?
1. A man who crashed his car, he said, while trying to avoid a turtle, a cat and a squirrel was arrested on a drunken driving charge.
2. A man who was arrested for DUI said his dog was driving.
3. A man choked to death in a hot dog eating contest.
4. A woman found out from watching a TV show that she was living in a house a serial killer had used as a torture chamber.
5. A woman had truck trouble because of a 7-foot python in the engine compartment of her Toyota Tacoma.
6. Airport officials seized two picnic baskets packed with 67 live giant African snails, more than 35 pounds of creatures that will "eat paint and stucco off of houses."
7. A woman let go of her steering wheel because "God told her he would take it from here" and then veered off the road and slammed into a man and his motorcycle.
8. A man sued a hospital saying doctors mistakenly amputated his penis.
9. A 3-year-old boy crashed a Jeep and then ran home to watch cartoons.
10. A woman called 911 because she thought there was an intruder in her home but it turned out to be a big snake.
11. A social media specialist for a private English language learning center was fired for creating the perception of the promotion of a gay agenda after he blogged about homophones.