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11 things that happened in May that would've been called SO FLORIDA had they happened in Florida



I did it for January, and I did it for February, and I did it for March, and I did it for April, and so now I'll do it for May, too, okay?

1. A naked man doing push-ups in a road was hit and killed by a car.

2. One man killed another man in a fight over a possum.

3. A man got a calf tattoo of a KFC Double Down.

4. A 31-year-old woman was arrested for impersonating a sophomore at a Christian high school called New Life.

5. A woman trying to keep her family from learning she had dropped out of college called in bomb threats to what would have been her commencement.

6. A man tried to have sex with an ATM and a picnic table.

7. A man nicknamed "Peaches and Cream" made a bomb threat and then peed in a parking lot outside a convenience store.

8. A man sued a stripper, saying he thought their relationship was personal and that he had given her a credit card and let her borrow movies, including his collection of Harry Potter DVDs.

9. A man stole a bread truck and made deliveries in his underwear before being taken to a psychiatric hospital.

10. A man lied to a state trooper that he was driving while wearing no pants because he recently had had a Brazilian hair removal procedure known as a "manzilian."

11. A car hit and killed an 800-pound alligator.

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