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13 things that happened in January that would've been called SO FLORIDA had they happened in Florida



1. A woman was arrested after stabbing a man with a ceramic squirrel.

2. A man was arrested after he fought with his brother over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

3. A man called the Swiss Cheese Pervert was arrested.

4. A woman received the wrong body after her mother's death on a Caribbean vacation.

5. Five tons of dried poop burned mysteriously.

6. A Greyhound bus crashed after a rider hallucinating on drugs attacked the driver.

7. Gas released by cows caused an explosion in a shed.

8. A python was found in a sofa.

9. Hundreds of pythons were found in a house.

10. A bag of snakes was found on a sidewalk.

11. A local mayor defended Justin Bieber.

12. A McDonald's employee sold heroin in Happy Meals.

13. One man killed another by suffocating him with his underwear.

[Last modified: Friday, January 31, 2014 11:41am]


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