9 things people in Florida do when it gets not hot
It was cold last night. It'll be cold tonight too. It's not cold down here the way it's cold everywhere else. Our polar vortex is just a bit of a nuisance. Outside in the middle of the day today it actually felt kind of nice. Still, though, we're not used to this kind of thing -- high temperatures that start with a 4! -- lows that start with a 3! -- and so we make a big deal out of it. Also these things:
1. Bust out space heaters.
2. Dodge falling iguanas.
3. Pray for fruit.
4. Watch out for sinkholes!
5. Wear -- cue Stephanie Hayes here -- the flimsy windbreaker we bought for the pirate cruise out of Clearwater Beach and three pairs of threadbare socks.
6. Find stunned-stiff sea turtles.
7. Cancel a boozy monthly event most locals avoid anyway.
8. Argue again over whether what fell out of the sky in 1989 was actually snow.