A dozen things that happened in April that would've been called SO FLORIDA had they happened in Florida
1. A jury convicted a woman of fatally stabbing her boyfriend with her high heel.
2. A crocodile was captured outside a strip mall.
3. A boy who had gone missing was found inside a skill claw machine.
4. Somebody is pooping on slides at playgrounds.
5. Giant flightless South American birds that look like ostriches and can run fast and are hard to catch got loose.
6. A man was arrested after wielding a samurai sword at a pizza parlor.
7. A father strangled his son over too much time spent playing video games.
8. A woman getting booked into jail had hidden her gun in her vagina.
9. A man got on Craigslist saying he wanted to have sex with a horse.
10. People found 25 killed cats in bags hanging from trees in a suburb.
11. A guy out for a drive stumbled onto a 10-foot python in a forest by the road.
12. Somebody dumped a dead black bear on a bench on a college campus. "Things happen," a student said.