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A dozen things that happened in March that would've been called SO FLORIDA had they happened in Florida



I did it for January, and I did it for February, and so now I'll do it for March.

1. A man who was pronounced dead by a county coroner woke up in a funeral home inside a body bag.

2. A former federal prisoner and doctor injected patients with something he called "the Jesus shot."

3. A state supreme court said secretly photographing under a woman's skirt is ... not illegal.

4. A woman was arrested for hitting her mother in the head with a vibrator.

5. A woman out walking her dog found the mutilated heads of a chicken, a rooster and a baby goat or sheep arranged on terracotta-style plates.

6. A man called 911 after his fat and "very hostile" cat attacked him and his family.

7. A college kid was arrested after making a dog do a keg stand at a party.

8. A state government voted to penalize colleges for "gay-themed books."

9. State troopers showed up with assault rifles at the home of an angry man who had a handgun in his waistband that turned out to be a tattoo.

10. A 64-year-old woman hit a 62-year-old woman with a plate at a Golden Corral.

11. Runaway circus elephants spent a half an hour in a parking lot wrecking cars.

12. A local branch of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals removed 260 cats from the home of a self-described "crazy cat lady." "That's not an insult, fella," the woman told a reporter.

[Last modified: Monday, March 31, 2014 3:00pm]


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