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Boston magazine: Florida is a 'giant drip pan for America’s reprobate population'



In this month's Boston magazine, in a piece about how the Red Sox won, how people hate Boston again and how that's a good thing, Joe Keohane managed to work in a Florida dig:

... that penis-shaped, hurricane-bedeviled state in the South dominated by a tertiary Bush, which functions as a sort of giant drip pan for America’s reprobate population and whose most notable feature is the fact that, wherever you go there, you have an even chance of seeing a dead alligator cooking on a white-hot, traffic-choked byway lined with strip malls ...

Here I'll recycle a bit of a mini manifesto from Floridian from a couple years back: Frothy. Cultureless. A swampy morass of misery and boredom. Criminally insane. That's what the snarky blog Gawker has to say about our state. Conan makes jokes. Fark pokes fun. Sometimes it feels like everybody everywhere searches the Sunshine for the bloggable, tweetable, linkable bizarre. They miss the point. They act like it's the only place with a pill problem. Like it's the only place with the dumb and the desperate who end up in laughed-at mug shots. Like it's the only place with cul-de-sacs with neighbors who don't know each other's names. Like it's the only place where people used to have jobs and keep them and pay their rent and feed their kids and now no longer can. Like it's the only place where people said yes to buying a house because everybody else said yes, too, and who since have been asked to please leave. What happens in Florida is that all of what is up there somehow ends up down here, and so it's the most interstate, real estate, dredge-and-fill, boom-and-bust hothouse manifestation of the lying, climate-controlled moment when everybody in this country thought they could have it all, forever and ever. Florida is not some funhouse mirror. It is a vivid reflection. To mock is too easy. My 2012 TEDx talk (starting at about 7:00): "What happens is that all the people up there ... come down here. And then it gets hot. And then it stays hot."

[Last modified: Sunday, December 8, 2013 7:31pm]


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