The New England Patriots want to control the world and any attempts to stop them are futile! So surrender now.

You see, not only were the Patriots so arrogant that they tried to trademark the term "19-0 The Perfect Season'' before they played in the Super Bowl, they're still trying to trademark it after they lost the Super Bowl. In a Boston Herald story, the Patriots aren't giving up the fight. But why do the Patriots have any more right to go after that trademark than any other team? And what's next? Do they want to trademark "First down,'' and "Touchdown'' and "Interception''?

Maybe they should go after a trademark of something they have actually accomplished, such as
"18-1. We Choked When It Mattered Most.''
"18-1. And We Cheated To Get That Record.''

The whole deal of trademarking simple phrases and something as basic as a record seems ridiculous to begin with. I blame Pat Riley, who trademarked the term "Three-Peat'' when his old Showtime Lakers were going for three titles in a row in the late 80s. No more, I say. No more trademarking records and common phrases like "The Perfect Season'' since a bunch of teams throughout sports history have had perfect seasons. Well, I would make one exception. If the Pats want to trademark "18-1,'' that's fine.