Make us your home page

Tom Jones' Two Cents

Sports analysis, perspective and more.

Bad sports guarantees

Please tell me that new Lightning co-owner Len Barrie did not guarantee the Bolts would win the Southeast Division.

"I'll predict right now, Tampa Bay will win the division,'' he said.

Oh, no. He did. For every Joe Namath and Muhammad Ali, there have been dozens of guys like Jon Kitna and Patrick Ewing. Let's hope that come next April we’re not adding Barrie's name to this list of hollow guarantees.

Kitna Jon Kitna
The quarterback predicted the Lions, just 3-13 in 2006, would win 10 games -- actually, "more than 10 games'' — in 2007. Oh, the Lions came up just short. And by "just short,'' we mean "7-9.''

Matt Hasselbeck
After winning the overtime coin toss in a 2004 playoff game at Green Bay, the Seahawks QB said, "We want the ball, and we're going to score.'' He threw a pass that resulted in a touchdown, all right. Problem was, it was a pass intercepted by Green Bay's Al Harris.

Ewing Patrick Ewing
The Knicks' big man guaranteed a victory in Game 6 over the Pacers in the 2000 Eastern Conference playoffs. The prediction might have come true if Ewing hadn't turned into a bricklayer. He was 4-for-13 from the field, 2-for-8 from the line and missed his final six shots as the Pacers won 93-80.

Joe Glenn
You've probably never heard of him, but this is the ultimate guarantee gone south. This Wyoming football coach guaranteed his boys would beat Utah in 2007. His lads not only lost. They lost 50-0. (Side note: Utah coach Kyle Whittingham gets the Big Jerk Award for using an onside kick while up 40-0 in the third quarter, which led to Glenn giving Utah the one-finger salute.)

Roy Williams
Boy, the Lions have big mouths, don't they? The wide receiver guaranteed Detroit would knock off the Bears in the second game of the 2006 season. Final score: Bears 34, Lions 7. After the game, Williams told reporters, "You can all run with this: We will win the (next) game.'' Uh, they lost that one, too. And the next game. And the game after that, too.

Chad Chad Johnson
Despite his team being 0-7 in 2002, Bengals chatty wideout Chad Johnson said, "Next week, I assure you a win. I guarantee you we will win.'' Yes, it’s true that the Bengals did win, and win handily:
38-3. But the victory came against the expansion Texans. After the victory, the Bengals went on a six-game losing streak and finished 2-14.

Don Waddell
Midway through the 2005-06 season. Here's the quote from the Atlanta Thrashers general manager: "We'll be in the playoffs. If you want to write: 'Guarantee,' I have no problem with that.'' Apparently his team had a "problem'' with that because when the season ended, the Thrashers were not in the playoffs.

Anthony Anthony Smith
Some people get caught up in the moment and say something dumb. The Steelers defensive back, however, lost all intelligence. He guaranteed a victory over the undefeated Patriots last season. Smith was part of a secondary burned for 399 yards and four TDs by QB Tom Brady and the Pats routed the Steelers 34-13.

[Last modified: Monday, June 14, 2010 2:42pm]


Join the discussion: Click to view comments, add yours