We in the press get whacked for playing up the negatives, particularly from the housing market. I wanted to change that perception with a glowing tribute to our local real estate market.
Unfortunately, the news around the Tampa Bay area is pretty grim, unless you’re a bargain hunter who enjoys low-balling some of the tens of thousands of people trying to sell homes.
Not to be deterred, I’ve sought out regions whose real estate reeks worse than ours, operating on the theory that things may be bad here, but they’re worse elsewhere. Consider it similar to Dustin Hoffman cracking jokes about Danny DeVito’s height:
Miami: For all of our overconsumption of stucco and shingle, our neighbor to the south went on a binge. With about 78,000 houses and condos for sale on the market, Miami’s been ranked “most vulnerable’’ and “most overpriced” by Forbes.com. Thanks partly to high housing prices, it’s the only major Florida metro area that’s lost population since 2000. Don Johnson’s probably renting a place in Boca these days.
San Francisco: You think adjustable rate mortgages were bad here? About three quarters of Golden Gate City home buyers used them, partly to take the edge off of a median home price that’s scraping $850,000. And when it comes to insurance risk, our hurricanes have nothing on the San Andreas fault.
Las Vegas: Dancing lights, show girls and Elvis impersonators? Yes. But this landlocked city of casino workers isn’t everyone’s Shangri-la. Home prices in this Sodom of the Sands average about $75,000 to $100,000 more than ours. And the Wall Street Journal says real estate speculation was even more rampant in Vegas than here. What do you expect from the city of slots?
Elmira, N.Y.: I decided to take one on the chin personally. Of all markets in the United States, my hometown puttered into last place with a median price of $71,700 after falling 18 percent in a year. That’s dead last out of 150 U.S. metro areas. Lest you think cheap homes deserve applause, the closest competition is Youngstown, Ohio, and Decatur, Ill.
Are you feeling better about the housing market yet? After that Elmira bit, I think I need a wild weekend in Vegas.