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ST. PETERSBURGEvery afternoon about 4 p.m., Karen Heaton walks through her house, out the back door, and stands at the top of the wheelchair ramp.Waiting for Donnie.By then He …
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A couple months ago, I wandered into a Charlotte Russe store, saw a piece of outrageous aqua neck candy priced at $12.99 and walked out the proud owner of the new bold and chunky beast. What a unique piece of jewelry! Something I had never seen before! This would really make a statement, in the immortal words of Daria Morgendorffer, stand proudly and proclaim I AM!...
No James Carville. No Barack Obama. No Joe Biden. No unctuous game show host leading a bizarro competition, like “What's My Name?” ($10 million to provide the name of your apartment building doorman.)
Still, Saturday Night Live’s presumed farewells to three of its most prominent players did manage to be touching in an odd way, offering backhanded goodbyes to guys who have been on the show since the Bush administration.
Jack of all trades Bill Hader seems to be the only one who officially confirmed his departure, leaving SNL after eight years. Fred Armisen and Jason Sudeikis, who have been on the show 11 years and eight years respectively, are also reportedly leaving. Weekend Update host Seth Myers, who is taking over NBC's 12:35 a.m. Late Night show when Jimmy Fallon becomes the Tonight Show host in February 2014, could still appear in the show's fall episodes, so he didn't get similar treatment.
The closest we came to a farewell was a fake Top of the Pops segment featuring Armisen, Hader and Sudeikis (with Taran Killian) as a British punk band playing a song “It’s a Lovely Day.” Eventually, they were joined by 90s alt rockers such as Dinosaur Jr.’s J Mascis and Aimee Mann (along with Armisen's Portlandia collaborator Carrie Brownstein) in the same way former castmember Kristen Wiig was serenaded by Mick Jagger on her last show last year. And who knew Sudeikis could actually play drums?...
Let's get this straight: We don't know if this is true or not, but E! claims Beyonce is indeed pregnant with her second child with Jay-Z. Don't go expecting them to confirm it, because they need a major award show stage to do that....