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At gay wedding expo in St. Petersburg, out is in

By Dalia Colon, Times Staff Writer
In print: Saturday, May 3, 2008

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Last week I learned a new word: tuxeda.

It's a tuxedo for women — one of the terms that might come up when planning a lesbian commitment ceremony. Then again, both partners may choose to wear a traditional wedding gown, or something altogether different.

To help same-sex couples, both female and male, sort through the business of planning a commitment ceremony, the Asheville, N.C., company Rainbow Wedding Network is touring the country with the Same Love, Same Rights LGBT Wedding and Family Expo. The event stops by the Hilton St. Petersburg Bayfront on Sunday, marking the first gay and lesbian wedding expo held in Florida, organizers said.

Sure, there will be talk of tuxedas, unconventional cake toppers and debates over who will stand at the altar and who will walk down the aisle. But the biggest distinction between a traditional bridal fair and this one is intangible.

"We take away the awkwardness for the couples," said organizer Cindy Sproul, co-owner of Rainbow Wedding Network, which also publishes Rainbow Wedding Network magazine, a guide to same-sex engagements, weddings and honeymoons.

Gay and lesbian couples who cold-call wedding vendors are often refused services, Sproul said, but the 50 businesses participating in Sunday's expo have confirmed they are gay-friendly. Companies scheduled to attend range from DJs and wedding consultants to real estate agents and legal services providers.

Tammy Berk, owner of Berk Photography, hopes the expo will increase exposure for her business, which recently moved from Manatee County to St. Petersburg.

"I just feel like everybody has the right to have beautiful photographs, so I'm going to provide them, tastefully done, for everyone," said Berk, who has never photographed a same-sex couple and doesn't know anyone who has. "I prefer nontraditional wedding coverage anyway. I like to do photojournalism, and I like to do less posey, storybook-wedding kind of things. So I saw that as a really good match for me."

Some participating businesses are less comfortable being linked to a gay wedding expo. For instance, a Hilton rep did confirm that the hotel will host the event, but declined to comment further.

Finding someone to perform the ceremony is relatively easy, thanks to Tampa churches like Metropolitan Community Church and Potter's House International Fellowship, whose ministers officiate same-sex weddings.

Because gay marriage is legal only in Massachusetts — and same-sex civil unions are recognized in only four states — couples planning a commitment ceremony needn't worry about getting a clergymen, notary public or justice of the peace to perform the service. Sproul and her partner got a friend to officiate their ceremony on a Georgia beach.

There's no standard same-sex marriage license, either, so couples often draft their own commitment certificate or find the wording online, Sproul said. Wording for the ceremony is at the couple's discretion, with many choosing to be pronounced "partners for life."

Dalia Colon can be reached at dcolon@tampabay.com.