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Amy Schumer as Barbie? She will be the most perfect (imperfect) version ever

 
Amy Schumer appears in a scene from her comedy series, "Inside Amy Schumer." [Ali Goldstein | Comedy Central via AP]
Amy Schumer appears in a scene from her comedy series, "Inside Amy Schumer." [Ali Goldstein | Comedy Central via AP]
Published Dec. 5, 2016

Attention, feminists. Before you write off 2016 as a net loss for contemporary feminism, know this: Amy Schumer is in talks to play Barbie in a live-action comedy.

According to Variety, Schumer is close to a deal with Mattel and Sony Pictures to star as Barbie in a film in which she gets "kicked out of Barbieland for not being perfect enough and lands in a real-world adventure." It's a departure from the more reverential animated Barbie movies of the past, but still meant to be a family flick, with a planned PG rating. And who better to recalibrate the image and message of Barbie than Schumer, who is expected to tweak the screenplay with her sister Kim Caramele, a writer and producer on "Inside Amy Schumer"?

Here's why we love the casting:

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1. Schumer walks on two feet and proudly holds her own head up. Unlike the original Barbie, who was so stretched and disfigured that, had she'd been a real woman, she would have had to walk on all fours, Schumer is openly adoring of her fabulous curves. This is huge. A horrifying yet obvious report published earlier this year showed that girls who played with traditional Barbies have higher rates of dissatisfaction with their bodies. Even Mattel has wised up, introducing a new line of Barbies with more realistic bodies earlier this year.

Here's Schumer's response to the pervasive pressure to be thin: "No, I'm not going to apologize for who I am, and I'm going to actually love the skin that I'm in. I'm not going to be striving for some other version of myself." Amen.

2. She's hysterical. Remember that thing that happens every couple of years, when some jerk says women can't be funny? Right. With Schumer as a role model, our daughters will have other things to laugh at, besides that ludicrous assertion.

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3. She's smart and self-made. According to Mattel, Barbie has had more than 150 careers. (Granted, that's a pretty impressive résumé). But she might still want to look to Schumer for lessons on charting her own destiny. After perfecting her singular comedic style at comedy clubs, Schumer inked deals to write her own TV show, and then a hit movie, followed by a best-selling book. Unclear if she drives a pink convertible, but the point is: She could if she wanted to.

4. She doesn't take any crap. We have a feeling that nobody is going to push this Barbie around.

5. Her self-esteem is infectious. Schumer is said to be rewriting the Barbie movie's original screenplay with her sister Caramele, so she'll have control over the 2018 film's theme and content. And if the kids who see it come away with an extra ounce of the confidence that Schumer exudes, we'll all be the better for it.