Need a date? Hire a coach

Jennifer Wallingford says she's just the person to give advice on dating and relationships. She's single herself and on the lookout for Mr. Right.

A certified life and relationship coach, Wallingford, 35, recently started Focusing Forward to help people develop better relationships and, hopefully, find true love. At the core: understanding what you want and what makes a healthy relationship.

Clients attend two- to four-hour workshops on smart dating, discovering your personality and defining needs. Graduates can join Focusing Forward's dating Web site for $30 a month or participate in group meetings on the art of attraction. (See focusingforwardcoaching.com.)

The next round of workshops starts Aug. 20, with registration closing a week prior. Workshops are Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays at the Grand Hyatt Tampa Bay along the Courtney Campbell Parkway. The cost is $500 for eight hours. We chatted with Wallingford for an introduction to the dating basics.

Name a common dating mistake?

Thinking that a first date should be a Friday or Saturday night dinner and movie. There's so much pressure. It's supposed to be fun and playful. By doing a short date, you get to experience the person. And if you like them, you get the opportunity to think about them and miss them.

Any others?

People feel that there's interrogation. What do you do, and so on. When we were kids and someone new moved into the neighborhood, you didn't go, "What's your jump shot like?" "What's your favorite action hero?" You let them play and you asked questions along the way. That's what a first date should be like. Let's take a walk and just get to know each other.

How do you turn down someone nicely?

You have to sit down and say, "I think you're a great person, and I can't wait to introduce you to a future girlfriend of mine and tell her that I've been on a date with you, and I think you're great. But I don't think that you and I click." Everybody networks for business. You can network in your single life, too. You never know who that person knows.

What do you think of reality dating TV shows?

I think they're amusing, but I don't think they're realistic. If I was dating a guy and I found out that he was dating 12 other women I would say, "Nope, you're a little too preoccupied for me." It's sad but there are some people who watch these programs and actually think that's how things should be done. They need to realize it's entertainment.

Name some first-date do's and don'ts?

Do something that you enjoy. If you don't like walking on the beach, then don't ask someone to go walking on the beach. Be yourself. Do not talk about past relationships. Be current on issues. Watch 30 minutes of CNN or E! Entertainment. If you run out of material, it's probably a good sign that it's not going anywhere.

What do you think of online dating and matchmaking services?

Oh, I've done them. They were for myself, but they turned into research. I don't think they hurt. But you have to take a self-inventory of where you're at and where you want to be. If you don't have any of that, it doesn't matter where you meet them.

What was your experience?

With online dating, it was very rare to meet someone who represented their picture. It was like, "Oh, I took this a couple of years ago." Was it a couple of years or a couple of decades?