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On her 27th birthday, Shaenelle Wilson went out dancing with friends at the Blue Martini.
She had a secret. She had started to be attracted to one of her best friends, but she was too shy to tell him.
Oneal McFarlane, an ICU nurse at Tampa General who was about eight years older, had been like a big brother to her. From the first time they'd met in her parents' Caribbean grocery in Tampa 10 years before, he'd been nothing but a very close family friend.
Then she'd set him up with a co-worker. The date had flopped.
"Why don't you date him?" the coworker had asked.
"Me?" Shaenelle said. "No, we're just family friends. I couldn't even imagine ... ."
But it got her to thinking.
They were both originally from Jamaica. They liked the same music. They both loved to travel and to grow vegetables. They were both interested in medicine. She would later pursue a master's degree in speech pathology.
Now she couldn't get her mind off the idea. She spied him near the dance floor. She felt awkward. They'd never even hugged. She liked how smart, kind and gentle he was. But would a kiss with him have sparks?
She'd had a drink. It gave her courage.
"Want to dance?" she asked.
They moved around the dance floor, him behind her, hips swaying to hip-hop reggae, his arm around her waist. It felt right and she knew.
But she didn't say anything.
And neither did he.
Later that night, he texted her. She was leaving on a cruise the next day.
I'm going to miss you.
• • •
When she got back from the cruise, they hung out like they always did. They went out to dinner. They went out to listen to live music. They went to the movies. They lolled around in the waves at the beach.
At one point, she mentioned she might want to move to California one day. He said he would come with her.
He so likes me, she thought. Why isn't he saying anything?
She sought advice from her friends and her sister. Should she tell him? What if she said something and it ruined their incredible friendship? She realized she was scared.
"Make sure you are sure," her sister said.
"You got to tell him," her girlfriend said.
• • •
A few months after they danced at the Blue Martini, Oneal headed off on a vacation to Jamaica. Shaenelle knew she'd miss him. But it was still awkward between them.
"I'll call you," he said.
A few days later, he was on the line. He'd begged some front desk clerk at the hotel to borrow her phone. He called two more times, too.
When he got back, she went over to his house. She was so excited to see him. They sat down on the couch.
He touched her hand. He wouldn't look at her though.
"Kiss me," she said.
And he did.
Leonora LaPeter Anton can be reached at lapeter@tampabay.com or (727) 893-8640.
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