Finally. After spending 15 years of my life lacing up pointe shoes, being wrapped in yards of day-glo sequins, and having my mother paint my face with blue — yes, you know the '80s shade — eye shadow, dance in America is having a moment.
Thank you, Dancing With the Stars.
Yes, the show oozes with cheese (American, of course) from the faux dramatic tension between the C-list celebs to the creative costuming that once featured Disney wunderkind Cody Lindley in military dress for a paso doble last season. Really? What were they thinking?
Who cares? Because of DWTS, nondancing Americans know the difference between samba rolls and tango ganchos. They can tell when the celebs dance tentatively (Susan Lucci) or with unrelenting, albeit out-of-control, passion (R&B singer Mario).
So, buy a ticket for the tour. Embrace the tacky, mirrored disco ball that epitomizes all that is DWTS, and know that these three things are sure to happen: Hunky professional dancer Maksim Chmerkovskiy will flash his killer abs while partnering fiancee and fellow pro dancer Karina Smirnoff. Sequins and fringe costumes will duel on the dance floor. And Marlee Matlin will gracefully glide across the floor even though she can't hear the music.
Dancing With the Stars: The Tour features former celebrity contestants Lance Bass, Toni Braxton, Maurice Greene and Matlin. Show time is 7:30 p.m. today at the St. Pete Times Forum, 401 Channelside Drive, Tampa. $52.25, $67.75, $97.75 and $127.75. (813) 301-2500; stpetetimesforum.com.
Jennifer DeCamp, Times staff writer