You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up! A play about relationships adapted from the comedic memoir of married writers Annabelle Gurwitch (Dinner and a Movie) and Jeff Kahn (The Ben Stiller Show, Forty Year Old Virgin). See it at 7:30 p.m. at Jaeb Theater at the Straz Center for the Performing Arts in Tampa. $25. (813) 229-7827.
Uproar Festival: Shinedown, Godsmack, Staind, Papa Roach, Adelitas Way and POD lead the stacked lineup for this year's hard rock music fest, which kicks off at noon at 1-800-Ask-Gary Amphitheatre in Tampa. $25–$85. (813) 740-2446.
Tampa Bay Rays Watch Party and Donation Drive: As the Rays square off against the Orioles today at 12:35 p.m., the team hosts a watch party and donation drive in the park. Items like toiletries, clothing, bottles and pacifiers will be collected for the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office Child Protective Services. It's at noon at Lykes Gaslight Square Park, 410 Franklin St., Tampa. Free.
St. Pete Art and Fashion Week: 600 Block After Dark: In conjunction with Tampa Bay Fashion Week, this boutique event and sale features an art gallery opening, street vendors, raffles and a fashion show by all of the 600 Block boutiques. It starts at 6 p.m. along the 600 block of Central Avenue in St. Petersburg. $10. fashionweektampabay.com.
Season finale; America's Got Talent, 8 p.m., NBC: In the end, it doesn't matter how many season premieres The Voice and The X Factor cram down our throats. AGT has Justin Bieber. Game, set, match.
Season premiere; The Real Housewives of Miami, 9 p.m., Bravo: A new crop of ladies move in. Because how can you have a show about Florida without transplants?
Season finale; Extreme Chef, 10 p.m. Food: According to the episode summary, the final three must "work with elephants" while creating a meal in front of a Buddhist temple. Please tell us that's not one of the ingredients.
Louie, 10:30 p.m., FX: Will Louis come to his senses and go after that Late Show job? Or will he hold out for a Louis deal?