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Scavenger hunt wants the goods from Gasparilla

Maybe you can't stomach any more fun after the hype that swirled through last week for Super Bowl XLIII. But true Tampa Bay partiers are a hearty bunch, and their annual revelry known as Gasparilla is coming up Saturday. To help occupy your time while you're maneuvering through the human throngs that make up Tampa's biggest street party, we've created this scavenger hunt. And if it sounds a little raunchy, well, you must be a newbie is all we're sayin'.

Anne Glover, Times staff writer

100 points

Acquire an official Ye Mystic Krewe of Gasparilla bead bag. Give yourself an extra 25 points if you can score it without showing skin or kissing a pirate — because, man, they are looking really gnarly these days.

25 points

Sweet talk someone into giving you the limited edition 2009 Super Gasparilla beads. Deduct 5 points if you had to lift your shirt for them. Deduct 20 points if you ripped them off someone's neck.

1 point

Find a strand of beads on the streets or sidewalks and gain 1 point — then add 5 more if you give the beads to a tiny tot who doesn't have very many (karma, people).

25 points

Acquire 10 strands of beads within the first 30 minutes along the parade route.

50 points

Get served a beer within five minutes at Four Green Fields as you take a pit stop from the action. Give yourself 25 extra points if you find some friends who have a table in the popular Irish bar. Deduct all of your points if you shout at the server who didn't bring your fifth beer fast enough.

125 points

Get invited on a yacht or a boat of at least 48 feet in length as you wander along the waterfront plaza at the Westin on Harbour Island. Deduct 50 points if you barge onto one and get chased off by a bouncer.

5 points

Use a Port-O-Let before 11 a.m.

150 points

Get a spur-of-the- moment invite to one of the exclusive parties in one of the mansions along Bayshore based on your fabulous attire. Deduct 50 if you insist on texting 10 of your friends to join you.

100 points

Find a parking spot two blocks from the parade route as you arrive 10 minutes before the parade. Deduct all 100 points if you come back to a ticket on your windshield.

10 points

For each dog you see sporting a strand of beads around its neck.

10 points

Stop into Publix to use the restroom and actually buy something in return for the privilege.

2,000 points*

As you stand on the docks by the Westin, catch a strand of beads thrown by a drunken pleasure boater from the middle of the channel.

(*Sorry, this ain't gonna happen. No one can throw that far!)

1/2 point

Encounter a drunk person.

30 points

Encounter a sober person (kids don't count).

2 points

Encounter aclever pirate costume. Deduct 1 point if there's not a skull on it.

5 points

For each sighting of that Captain Morgan guy. Add 10 points if he has a talking parrot, and 5 points each for an official Captain Morgan "girl."

3 points

For each sighting of a guy without a shirt guzzling alcohol. Add 2 points if his fly is down.

25 points

For each baby carriage disguised as a pirate ship. Add 25 points if the ship is hiding an alcohol stash. Deduct all 50 points if the alcohol is in glass bottles (safety, people!).

30 points

For each shopping cart you see that has a beer keg in it. Add 15 points if it's empty by noon.

25 points

For each time you get some food to balance your alcohol intake. But deduct 10 points for every time a bird with extremely long legs/neck/beak scarfs some of your fries.

Double your points

If you've done the smart thing and brought along a designated driver or booked a room for the night.

Deduct all points

If a total stranger pukes on you sometime during the festivities. Deduct only half if you're the target of a close friend.

Total up your booty

0-100 points: Turn in your beads, you're not worthy

100-500 points: Nice try, but you need more practice; better hit the Illuminated Sant'Yago Knight Parade in Ybor on Feb. 20.

500+ points: See you next year in the crow's nest of the Jose Gasparilla, mate. You are pirate material all the way!

Scavenger hunt wants the goods from Gasparilla 02/04/09 [Last modified: Wednesday, February 4, 2009 3:30am]

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